yup. this. i agree wholeheartedly.
yup. this. i agree wholeheartedly.
this is on the front page of my WIP to remind me of the core of the story i’m trying to write:
“It’s the lack,
the gap, the absence
and the silence
that fills me
How can so little
take up so much
inside of me?
speaking of checking things off a life to do list, i crossed off two more things recently (it was a productive thanksgiving, what can i say?)
*eat a november cake (an amazing sounding recipe from THE SCORPIO RACES, one of my favorite books. fortunately, sister E loves to bake, so she made these for me and all i had to do was keep her company in the kitchen. sweet deal, huh?)
*write a novel (50k words) in 30 days or less. (yup. i finished. 58,620 words to be precise. 50,006 written from 11/1 to 11/24 combined with 8,614 words written the last week of october.) and now i’m going to let it sit for a bit and then i shall revise the heck out of it.
while i’m letting my manuscript sit around and marinate, i will be doing the exact opposite. i’ll be traveling to a country i’ve never been to before. for work.
this is shaping up to be a VERY interesting end to 2012 for me.
sometimes something SO BIG comes along the desire to hide overwhelms your sense of logic.
in this case, the something so big is NaNoWriMo (NAtional NOvel WRiting MOnth) in which a novel is defined as 50K and is started on november 1 and finished on/by november 30.
yup. i signed up to write a novel in a month.
i’m considering a costume so maybe it won’t recognize me.
i swear this wasn’t just an excuse to show off my beyond adorable nieces and nephews. though, really, aren’t they the cutest?!? i’m not biased at all. this is the truth.
but back to my point. i’m really scared of this task, of this herculean effort, of this novel, of all these expectations (mine + others’). i’ve already started this one once and wrote 20K before i realized i needed to restart it and that brings me to what i’m doing this november.
this is manuscript #3 for me, which means i should have learned something from manuscripts 1 and 2 and those things learned should be incorporated now, but, umm, i can’t find my notes, a pop quiz today?, THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK, TEACHER.
wow. that’s already a lot more than i tell most people about my writing because i’m (a) too much of a perfectionist where i don’t want people to see the process, just the results, (b) superstitious, (c) private, (d) awkward, (e) uncomfortable talking about myself, (f) private, (g) see aforementioned items x100. i guess i’m hoping if i put this in writing, i’ll be held accountable.
i want to be accountable.
but i’m scared.
i think it’s time to take a cue from my dear (and ridiculously talented) friend adriana.
perhaps i should throw on something bright so (in her case) the people at the reading focus on that instead of her (so she said); or so (in my case) i focus on the outer (getting the words out) instead of the inner (editor)?
maybe i’m grasping at straws here. maybe that analogy sounded better in my head. maybe i’m procrastinating from working on that manuscript (if you look at the date, yes, i’m two days into NaNo) because the blog is safe and the MS is uncharted territory.
okay, okay. i’m leaving. but first, tell me how YOU go about facing your fears.
let’s all be in this together!
i’d heard of these things where a bunch of writers travel to a specific locale and do nothing* but write. i’m not entirely sure how i got (a) the label “writer” and (b) an invite to rockport, MA, but i did and i was and i accepted both.
after a weekend of words, i find myself only left with these:
IT. WAS. AWESOME.
and here are these:
*nothing but eat, drink, listen to music, talk, play games, cook, brainstorm, sleep and write.