Tag: tuesdays with maga

“How are you, Maga?” I asked.

“Well, it’s lonely here.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I sure wish we were closer.”

“Me too. But since we’re not, these phone calls are intended to help bridge that gap between visits.”

“Thank goodness for Alexander Graham Bell.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Isn’t today Monday?”

“Yes, actually, it is. I have more time tonight than tomorrow and as we were just saying loneliness is around and I wanted to make sure to check in with you.”

“Thank you, dear.”

We spoke about the weather, my siblings, my house, meandered over to the topic of my work…”What are the hours you work?” Maga asked.

“9am to 5pm.”

“Oh, 9 to 5. The usual working hours.”

“Well, usual for this working force. Your hours were more like 24 hours a day.”

The truth tickled Maga. “Why yes, you’re right. When you raise four children, the hours are a bit longer.”

“Quite a bit.”

“And [Sister E]? How’s her job going? Tell me what it is again.”

“The easiest way to explain it is that she teaches / trains people how to use a product.”

“What’s the product?”

“Software.”

Maga was silent for a spell.

I continued. “It’s for computers.”

“Oh. Everything’s all about computers these days.”

“What about the gift from my parents? Have you used that?”

“What’s it called again?”

“An iPad.”

“And how does it work?”

“Wifi.”

“And you plug it in and that’s what [Sister E] teaches people how to use?”

I was silent for a spell. “No, no, no. Your gift and [Sister E]’s job are unrelated. Maga, are you wearing your hearing aid?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Wait. No, I’m not.”

“I suspected you weren’t.”

“Oh, well, I forgive you.”

“Umm, thank you?”

I’m sure it wasn’t her game plan, but the act of her not putting in her hearing aid actually extended the conversation, as I had to repeat words and phrases and concepts until she understood what I was talking about. Maybe I should have stuck to the weather? Or maybe I should just appreciate the extra time together with Maga, no matter the volume levels or topic(s) of conversation.

“Did your mom enjoy making Christmas cookies this year?” Maga asked. “She always used to like to do that. I remember that from the past.”

“Enjoy it? I don’t know about that, but she made a bunch, yes.”

“She doesn’t love it?”

“I don’t think so, but she loves us and we love the cookies, so…”

“It’s sort of a Christmas custom now.”

“You got it.”

“Could I have some more milk? Excuse me, Abby, I was just talking to my caregiver. I’m munching away on my dinner here and I need something more to drink.”

“Dinner? You’re usually done by now.”

“On holidays, like Christmas and today, they let the kitchen staff go home to be with their families, so they make up meals in a bag we can eat in our rooms.”

“That’s so nice. On many fronts.”

“The meals aren’t wonderful or elaborate, but edible.”

“Sounds exactly like my skill set in the kitchen.”

Maga chuckled. It wasn’t her usual hearty laugh, so I have a feeling this was a laugh borne of her not wearing her hearing aid and not hearing me, but not feeling like asking for the fifth time what I’d said. It’d taken us awhile to get to this point in the conversation.

“Do you have any upcoming travels?” she asked, changing the subject as she does when she can’t continue the previous discussion.

“No, but I will have some visitors in a couple of weekends. A girls’ weekend in Boston for Sister J’s birthday.”

“When’s her birthday?”

“The 10th.”

“Of January?”

“Yes.”

And thus began the repetition of my siblings and my birthdays. Four times. Loudly.

“Wait, wait. I should write this down,” Maga said and I let loose a peal of laughter, because, of course.

“I thought you already head.” A fifth and sixth repetitions for those dates.

“Gee, did your mom have all her children in January? That’s kind of unusual to have all your babies in the same month, but you all turned out well, so I guess it’s alright. I wonder why your mom had you all in the same month?”

“You’ll have to ask her.”

“She’s a busy lady.”

*blushes*

“I haven’t talked to her in awhile,” Maga said.

“Oh, that type of busy!” I sighed internally and externally and brought the conversation to an end before either one of us could mis-hear each other further.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Well, I’m not the most sturdy or good of anything I’ve ever known,” Maga said.

“Oh no!”

“When you get to be my age…” And then she showed her years when she confused my earlier years with Sister E’s. “You basically grew up in that town that your sister and brother-in-law live in.”

“No. They live in [State].”

“Yes, yes. They live in [State]. I guess I meant your mom and dad.”

“Oh,” I chuckled. “Well, I only went to high school where my parents live. Sister E is the one who basically grew up there.”

“What’s the age gap between you two?”

“11 years.”

“Oh my.” And then she showed she was as young as ever. “What a surprise that was when your mom announced she was pregnant.”

I jumped on the familiar familial details from a new source. “Oh yeah??”

“It seemed like she’d gotten finished with that business, but not at all. What a surprise. A pleasant one.”

A happy sigh from us both.

“The more the merrier,” we said simultaneously.

With holiday surprises coming together under my fingers, I was feeling indulgent, so I allowed Maga her weather questions.

“I hate snow,” Maga said. “Is that showing my age?”

“If it is, then I’m 97 too.”

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t make some light-hearted jokes while doing so.

We then discussed the importance of family during the holidays, travel plans, and visitors.

“What day of the week is Christmas this year?” Maga asked.

“I think it’s a Tuesday. Oh, so that would make it exactly two weeks from today.”

“What’s today’s date?”

“The 11th.”

“11 + 14 is 25, so yes, exactly right. Good for you.”

Looks like Maga was feeling rather indulgent tonight too.

“I have a few decorations up,” I said, “one of which is a ceramic Christmas tree. It reminds me of one my mom has, so I’m absolutely in love with it.”

“That’s nice.”

“It’s my first holiday season having it up. It reminds of my childhood.”

“Those are some of the best memories of all.”

“What sort of decorations did you put up as a kid?”

“My childhood was kind of different. We didn’t have terribly big celebrations. It was just me and my mom. My grandmom would put up a tree.”

Maga’s statements were clipped. Unsure if it was her memory or her attention span, I pushed forward. “Were there any things you did as a kid that you incorporated once you were in charge of the holidays?”

“After I got married and it was Jobo and me and the kids, we’d hang up stockings on Christmas Eve…”

She trailed off. Talk about queen of the cliff hanger! Struck with deja vu, I realized it was both her memory and her attention span. My own mother, Maga’s daughter, often does the same thing when on the phone (hi, Mom, yes, we know you’re folding laundry and answering emails and putting dishes away all while talking to us), however, I had a feeling Maga, who’d gotten settled into her chair at the start of our conversation, wasn’t doing twelve other things. Perhaps my questions were stretching her limits. But after answering yet another question about the weather, I tried one more time for some new information.

“Did you have any favorite holiday foods?” I asked.

“Not really.”

“Oh! Did you used to eat pearl onions?”

“I guess we might have.”

“My mom always makes those and I thought it was something she picked up from her childhood because it’s not necessarily a favorite dish in our house.”

“Well, usually mothers hand down recipes to their daughters.”

It wasn’t a definitive statement about the holidays, traditions, family, or the secret ingredient in her (is it hers?) pearl onion dish, but, it wasn’t another question about the weather…