*pressing pause*

i read THIS POST by nova ren suma and nodded. i nodded so hard i practically gave myself whiplash. and not to be all morose, but lately, i’ve been feeling confused and frustrated in the area of my writing. i’ve been questioning my intentions, my abilities, and my future. i’m not sure if i’m overextended or underextended. i’m not sure if anyone is listening or if anyone should be. i’m not sure if this is a normal stage of development. i’m not sure if i need a routine or if i need craziness. i’m not sure if i need noise or if i need silence. i’m not sure if i should be hearing voices or creating them. i’m not sure if i need a bigger imagination. all i know is that the words feel stilted and rough and plain and honestly, i’d rather go to the dentist and have him pull my teeth than sit here and pull words out of my brain.

i’m not sure if i need a break from the blog, from the interwebs, from reading, from writing, from life, or from my imagination, but i need to do something to remove this blockade because the dream to do this still lingers:

“I’m not asking you to describe the rain falling the night the archangel arrived; I’m demanding that you get me wet. Make up your mind, Mr. Writer, and for once in your life be the flower that smells rather than the chronicler of the aroma. There’s not much pleasure in writing what you live. The challenge is to live what you write.” – Eduardo Galeano

basically right now, i don’t know which end is up and you all know how horrible i am at directions, so i’m not sure if i’ll ever find the right way. perhaps the only thing to do is to press pause and hope that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

(see what i mean? cliches are the best i can come up with. and i’m starting sentences with “and” and ending them with prepositions! eek! *steps closer to month long pause button*)

*finger is poised above pause button while she notes to her dear readers that she will have one blog in august. on august 18th to be exact, as that’s the date BOOK HUNGRY discusses MAKING WAVES by tawna fenske. it’s a book (and a blog post) not to be missed.*


convos with strangers

conversations with strangers #8

here’s why i’m talking with strangers.

i’m waiting alone at the bus stop. i’m using my handy dandy “catch the bus” app, so when i see the glowing orange light of an approaching bus i’m a bit surprised. the app says i still have 5 minutes to wait.

as the bus gets closer, i see it’s the #10. ah ha, see, i’m waiting for the #9.

the brakes screech their protest as the driver slows for me — a potential rider.

he opens the door and makes eye contact.

i shake my head.

he points up, presumably at the sign labeling the bus as a #10, making sure i’m sure this isn’t the bus i want.

i smile and motion to him to continue on.

he waves and closes the door, off to the next stop.

it appears whole conversations can be had without speaking at all.

convos with strangers

conversations with strangers #7

here’s why i’m talking with strangers.

adriana and i were out grabbing a drink after a hectic work day. we’d ordered and received our drinks and were going to order an appetizer, but not yet. we needed more time to enjoy said beverages.

bartender: you doing okay?

me: *nods*

adriana: *hands him the menus.*

*bartender leaves.*

i turn to adriana and she to me: wait, what did he say?

me: i thought he asked if we were okay.

adriana: oh, i thought he said are you going to order. but then you said yes and i was thinking, wait, we need more time.

me: why’d you hand him the menus then?

adriana: i was confused. you seemed so sure in your answer, but then he walked away.

it’s interesting the way bar noise and your own expectations can change the sound of the words hitting your ears.

book club

BOOK HUNGRY: the beyonders

who says you have to be crowded into the living room, kitchen, and/or dining room to hold a book club? we are ladies of the 21st century. we don’t need no stinkin’ couches. so pull up a blog and join in the conversation.

the members of the BOOK HUNGRY are (alphabetically): patty blount, kelly breakey, karla nellenbach, vanessa noble, alyson peterson, cynthia reese, elizabeth ryann, and myself. here’s the deal. we pick a book to read. we discuss via email. we post a review on our individual blogs on the same day (3rd thursday of the month). we link to each other. done. i know, genius. click on each one of their names (above) and it’ll take you to their review. browse. enjoy.

this month’s BOOK HUNGRY selection is: 

THE BEYONDERS by Brandon Mull

what it’s about from amazon: the first book in a new series (Beyonders), A World Without Heroes is an addictive blend of fantasy, humor, and heroic quest. Jason is an ordinary 13-year-old involuntarily transported to Lyrian, a world ruled by the evil wizard Maldor. Jason stumbles across a book bound with human skin and learns of a secret word with the power to unmake Maldor–knowledge that puts Jason in grave danger. Galloran, a blind king who once searched for the word himself, introduces Jason to Rachel, another Beyonder (as people from Earth are called) who had appeared in Lyrian at the same time. Jason and Rachel set out to retrieve the word, and the resulting pages are filled with adventure, drama, loyalty and betrayal—a treat for fans of Mull’s Fablehaven series or those discovering this bestselling author for the first time.

my opinion: i have very mixed feelings about this book because while the latter half of the book picked up, it starts off slow. i was fortunate enough to know this before i started reading (my fellow book hungry gals are faster readers than me), so i was prepared to chug through the beginning, where the humor felt forced, the narrator’s voice seemed ages older than an eighth grader should be, and characters conveniently showed up whenever jason was in peril. it wasn’t until i reached about 250 pages in that i stopped reading every. single. word. and started living the adventure with jason and rachel. their interactions were more realistic and charming, the humor erupted from the story, and when jason took charge, and i believed it.

but then the ending arrived and it wasn’t so much the end of the book as it was a pause in the story. the only author who i’ll let get away with this is patrick ness and his CHAOS WALKING trilogy, so yeah, i wasn’t a fan of this stopping where it did. however, even after all my original misgivings, i AM curious to see where book 2 takes these characters…

join us next month as we read MAKING WAVES by tawna fenske. it’s her debut novel and we’ve all gotten to know her via twitter and her blog, so we know it’s going to be a PARTY!!!



didn’t see that one coming

one of my great loves is sports. playing or watching or coaching. there’s a certain poetry of movement out on the field as the players push their bodies beyond expectation. there’s also a camaraderie of teammates which extends well beyond the turf or grass or dirt or whatever type of field you might be on.

i happen to be fortunate enough to come from a naturally athletic family + i live in a hotbed of champion level professional sports teams (go sox! go pats! go bruins! go celtics!), so this love continues to flourish.

but, if you give out your heart, there’s always the chance it’ll break. unintentionally in this case, but fittingly so as my story starts when the guy in the yankees hat steps up to bat. i pitch the ball right over the plate. he swings and my foot explodes with pain as the ball dribbles a few feet to my left. i happen to have excellent reflexes so the fact i couldn’t get out of the way is a testament to how hard/fast that ball was hit.

two days later, i’m still sporting a golf ball sized lump on my foot/ankle, my ankle is tender causing me to hobble more than glide across the floor like i usually do (ha, right) and, i’m very limited in choice of footwear because most everything wraps right over the bump. (thank goodness for flip flops and a casual dress work environment!) i have to miss both a softball and a lacrosse game, but even in situations where one’s heart is hurt, there is a lesson to be learned.

watch out for yankees fans.

just kidding, sort of, but seriously, i’m grateful it’s nothing truly major because in the last two weeks alone, i’ve seen players go down with pulled hamstrings, torn tendons in the knee, and a ruptured achilles tendon. i can still walk and in case of emergency, run. i’ll just have to hope my absence from any athletic event this week won’t cause my heart too much more trauma, and, in the meantime, focus on the fact that some soreness now reminds me to be grateful for every other day i walk without pain.