Tag: funny

convos with strangers

conversations with strangers #56

abby mumford

i sometimes converse with strangers. here’s why.

cashier: do you want paper or plastic?

me: plastic’s fine.

cashier (to bagger): she said plastic is fine, indeedy. i’m just going add indeedy to the end of every sentence.

bagger: that’s cool, indeedy.

cashier: to be or not to be. that is the question, indeedy.

cashier (to me): do you have your shaw’s card? it’ll save you a lot of money, indeedy.

me: *eavesdrops* *grins* *hands over card*

bagger (to cashier): wrap that chicken in a separate bag, indeedy.

cashier: i know how to do my job, indeedy.

bagger: i’m just reminding you, dude. i mean, indeedy.

cashier (to me): do you want some coupons along with your receipt?

me: yes, indeedy.

i walked off with the memory of the cashier’s delighted face imprinted on my brain. sometimes, you just have to liven up those mundane errands.

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feelings

family sayings

abby mumford

being a part of a large family, going anywhere all together is a production and a half. we’re all arms and legs and hair not dried and makeup not applied. everyone is ready at different times. some are rushing, some are waiting, some are sleeping. others have to pee one more time. someone forgot to pack a necessary food or drink item. that person is reading. someone else forgot the tickets or their phone and has to run back inside. another person decided their coat was too heavy or too light and a trade needed to be made or more hats/gloves/scarves grabbed. activities here and there and let’s run a quick errand first and all the things (!) until we’re piled in the car(s) eons after we originally wanted to leave.

and we’re off like a herd of turtles.

(yes, that really is the mumford family motto. yes, we really do say it all the time. yes, it really does make us laugh and yet groan at the truth of it.)

do you have any family sayings or habits or traditions? DO TELL.

*pulls up chair*

*sits*

*waits*

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book club

BOOK HUNGRY: tempting the billionaire

abby mumford

who says you have to be crowded into the living room, kitchen, and/or dining room to hold a book club? we are ladies of the 21st century. we don’t need no stinkin’ couches. so pull up a blog and join in the conversation.

the members of the BOOK HUNGRY are (alphabetically): patty blount, kelly breakey, karla nellenbach, and myself. we pick a book to read. we discuss via email/phone. we post a review on our individual blogs the 3rd thursday of the month OR, well, we used to all post reviews. now, i think, it’s just patty and me. but anyways, go for it. click on their names above and if they have a review up, it’ll take you to there. enjoy.

this month’s BOOK HUNGRY selection is: 

TEMPTING THE BILLIONAIRE by jessica lemmon

what it’s about from amazon: 

Crickitt Day needs a job . . . any job. After her husband walks out on her, she’s determined to re-build her life and establish a new career. When swoon-worthy billionaire Shane August hires her as his assistant, she jumps at the chance to prove herself. Despite her growing attraction to her boss, she vows to keep things strictly professional. No flirting. No kissing. Definitely no falling in love…

Shane August is all business, all the time. He’s a self-made man who’s poured his heart and soul into his company, and he’d never allow himself to get involved with an employee. Then he hires sweet, sexy Crickitt-and he can’t keep his mind or his hands off her. But no matter how much he wants Crickitt, Shane fears that painful secrets from his past will always come between them. With fate working against them, can these two lonely hearts learn that sometimes mixing business with pleasure is the perfect merger?

my opinion:

this was a very special edition of BOOK HUNGRY because (1) i know the author (well, loosely. i know her from twitter), (2) i read the book in one day, the day after i got back from india and was supremely jet lagged, (3) jessica joined our conference call and gave us insider tips (on where the idea came from, the characters’ names, and which scenes got cut and which elaborated) and she was generally as lovable as her characters, and (4) i got a super-dee-duper secret copy.

basically, it was all mission impossible and once i read it, my device blew up. well, loosely. not blow up in the KABOOM kind of way, but definitely in the bow-chicka-wow-wow kind of way.

you guys, i admit it, i was nervous about this book. i REALLY wanted to like it because i REALLY enjoy jessica on twitter, but i had to read it in one day and when i could barely see straight from all that jet lag? yup. me. nerves.

but, as with most things, i was worrying for no reason at all.

the awesome cover opened to even more awesome things inside. it was realistic! funny! charming! sweet! and the ending (specifically the very last line) was spot on. i’ve been on the lookout for really good endings lately because it seems most books end quietly and normally, but TEMPTING THE BILLIONAIRE (and GONE GIRL for that matter) nailed it. they both contained genius endings that left me inordinately pleased.

this book did not disappoint and in fact, even turned a bit of the romance genre on its head. it’s absolutely worth a read.

jessica’s had a wild ride from the selling of her book to the rapid release of it (we all know publishing’s not known for its quick turnarounds) and folks, let me tell you, this is one ride you want to get on. it comes out on january 8th (a FANTASTIC DAY if i do say so myself), so make sure to get thyself a copy.

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book club

BOOK HUNGRY: the last testament

abby mumford

who says you have to be crowded into the living room, kitchen, and/or dining room to hold a book club? we are ladies of the 21st century. we don’t need no stinkin’ couches. so pull up a blog and join in the conversation.

the members of the BOOK HUNGRY are (alphabetically): patty blount, kelly breakey, karla nellenbach, and myself. we pick a book to read. we discuss via email/phone. we post a review on our individual blogs the 3rd thursday of the month OR, well, we used to all post reviews. now, i think, it’s just patty and me. but anyways, go for it. click on their names above and if they have a review up, it’ll take you to there. enjoy.

this month’s BOOK HUNGRY selection is: 

THE LAST TESTAMENT: A MEMOIR BY GOD with david javerbaum

what it’s about from amazon: 

Over the course of his long and distinguished career, God has literally seen it all. And not just seen. In fact, the multi-talented deity has played a pivotal role in many major events, including the Creation of the universe, the entirety of world history, the life of every human being who has ever lived, and the successful transitioning of American Idol into the post-Simon Cowell era.

Now, as the earth he has godded so magnificently draws to a Mayan-induced close, God breaks his 1,400-year literary silence with his final masterpiece, The Last Testament.

As dictated to his mortal amanuensis, 11-time Emmy Award-winning comedy writer David Javerbaum, God looks back with unprecedented candor on his time in the public sector. He takes us behind the scenes of Genesis, setting the record (un)straight on the real first couple, Adam and Steve, and challenging long-held notions about the viability of containing a phylogenetically complete double bestiary within a 450,000-cubic-cubit watercraft.

For the first time, he breaks his silence on Jesus Christ, shedding light on a father-son relationship as heartwarming as Will and Jaden Smith’s. And he reveals his true feelings about his third great faith, Islam, WHICH ARE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE AND RESPECTFUL.

But The Last Testament doesn’t just look back. It also offers God’s perspectives on the perennial quagmires of love, marriage, and smiting. And he takes an 27.99 unfiltered look at contemporary society, addressing such hot-button topics as:

    • Why he loves America
    • What he listens for in a good prayer
    • Which sports teams he really roots for
    • Which celebrities are totally gay

Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, The Last Testament is a tale of courage, adversity, and triumph. It’s the ultimate celebrity autobiography, sure to appeal to not only hardcore God fans and “worshipers”, but to anyone.

my opinion:

this book is not for those with delicate sensitivities. this book is tongue in cheek. this book is not serious. this book is a riot, plain and simple.

take what you know about the daily show with john stewart and apply it to this book because david javerbaum is the former head writer / executive producer. that show and this book? they’re similar, they’re hilarious, they’re awesome. we’re in good hands with david javerbaum and God.

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