at the beginning of the packing process, i was a rockstar at remaining unemotionally attached and i threw out bags and bags and bags and piles and piles and bags of things. things i couldn’t get rid of four years ago when i moved to this current apartment. i chucked it all with cold calculation.
it hit a screeching halt when it was time to dive into my closet. i put aside maybe seven things to give to good will, but the rest i was all “maybe i’ll wear this again. it’s so cute. remember when i bought it. remember where i wore it. i’ll definitely wear it again. it stays.” as my packing supplies didn’t support moving clothes on hangers, i wrestled with finding a solution to all of those clothes. it wasn’t until yesterday when i remembered this poem by adriana that i recognized it was the memories of skinnier times or when i first wore it or where i was when i previously wore it or who i was when i wore it before that i was having trouble giving up.
clothes are a tangible representation of ourselves and that’s hard to pull off the hanger and discard. i was afraid of losing not only the options of more outfits but the memories too. out of sight out of mind, as they say, and true enough, the smaller fragments of memories might not linger but they were part of how i got to where i am today, to who i am today. they’re the foundation of my soul and they’ll always echo in my life.
it’s time to toss the clothes and pack up only the memories which are so light, so easy to move.