*pressing pause*

i read THIS POST by nova ren suma and nodded. i nodded so hard i practically gave myself whiplash. and not to be all morose, but lately, i’ve been feeling confused and frustrated in the area of my writing. i’ve been questioning my intentions, my abilities, and my future. i’m not sure if i’m overextended or underextended. i’m not sure if anyone is listening or if anyone should be. i’m not sure if this is a normal stage of development. i’m not sure if i need a routine or if i need craziness. i’m not sure if i need noise or if i need silence. i’m not sure if i should be hearing voices or creating them. i’m not sure if i need a bigger imagination. all i know is that the words feel stilted and rough and plain and honestly, i’d rather go to the dentist and have him pull my teeth than sit here and pull words out of my brain.

i’m not sure if i need a break from the blog, from the interwebs, from reading, from writing, from life, or from my imagination, but i need to do something to remove this blockade because the dream to do this still lingers:

“I’m not asking you to describe the rain falling the night the archangel arrived; I’m demanding that you get me wet. Make up your mind, Mr. Writer, and for once in your life be the flower that smells rather than the chronicler of the aroma. There’s not much pleasure in writing what you live. The challenge is to live what you write.” – Eduardo Galeano

basically right now, i don’t know which end is up and you all know how horrible i am at directions, so i’m not sure if i’ll ever find the right way. perhaps the only thing to do is to press pause and hope that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

(see what i mean? cliches are the best i can come up with. and i’m starting sentences with “and” and ending them with prepositions! eek! *steps closer to month long pause button*)

*finger is poised above pause button while she notes to her dear readers that she will have one blog in august. on august 18th to be exact, as that’s the date BOOK HUNGRY discusses MAKING WAVES by tawna fenske. it’s a book (and a blog post) not to be missed.*


18 thoughts on “*pressing pause*”

  1. Aww. Ouch again. :(

    Sometimes a breather is a good thing. Just a pause to resort your thoughts and feelings, to give those words a chance to reshuffle themselves in your head.

    Just don’t stay away from them for too long, because I like your words and will miss them.

    1. it’s going to be hard because i do love the blog, but heck, i’m willing to try anything to bust out of this.

  2. I relate. You know I relate! Pressing pause does help… because it will be there (YOU will be there) when you’re ready to come back.

    Just wanted to say I understand… and I hope it passes for you soon.

  3. I didn’t like this post when WordPress posted it prematurely, and I still don’t like it :( Although who am I to talk, I’m not blogging either. And I can absolutely relate. That’s how I feel most of the time. With poetry, I mean. I have no illusions about my adventures in the world of fiction — I know I’m just faking it, and not very well either. And even with poetry really — am I allowed to call myself a poet if I’m not writing anything new or submitting anything for publication? But that’s a conversation for another time.

    I hope that your time off the blog turns out to be exactly the thing you needed. And please tell me you’re not giving up on Twitter too, I already miss you there, since you’ve been very quiet lately!

    1. now you know how i feel about your blog’s quietness. let’s trade places. i’ll be quiet and you speak (aka write) more. i heart your blogs. GET ON WITH IT, lady.

      also, NO WAY am i giving up on Twitter. my work life (as you know) is exploding and my twitter time has been an unfortunate casualty. hopefully i can pick it up again soon cause i miss my Twitterati.

  4. We look for your blog daily and will miss your thoughts. We were ok while you were in Italy and really enjoyed your numerical summary and the pictures when you returned. I’ve heard that the only through a writers block is to write. Whatever you do is ok with us. We do want you to know we love you and pray daily for you. Grandpa

    1. daily?!? wow, that’s so sweet, especially since i was only posting twice a week (tues/fri). i’ll definitely be returning, as the blog is a great source of deadlines for me and it gets me to write, but i think i’m going to focus on a different style of writing for the month of august and see what happens.


  5. I find that a step away can be a good thing-but remember Abby and we have discussed this before-the things that are most worthwhile are the things that are the hardest. Writing can’t only be a joy, it has to be a discipline. Just like your blog post on sports. Watching a body in motion brings you joy. You like testing yourself to your limits. Why not apply these same principles to your writing and if the words aren’t coming, get out a new sheet of paper (you know what I mean) and write down why this isn’t working for you. What isn’t coming across. What words can you not find. Sometimes looking at what it isn’t giving you can take you back to what made you fall in love with it to begin with. And if all else fails than just tell yourself your going to write for an hour a day. Or 1000 words a day. Anything to keep yourself in the game.

    1. well now that right there is a kick in the bootay. and don’t worry. i may not have written anything in august (blogs or WIPs) yet, but my brain is churning. the words are slowly taking shape. this pause has been profitable and it’s only been a week!

      i definitely miss the blogging because at the moment, it’s the only writing of mine that is publicly viewed and yes, i do miss the tiny bit of appreciation that comes with that.

  6. Oh, man. Have I been where you are. Sometimes I still feel that way. I think, taking a break from the blog may not be a bad idea. I did and it gave me a chance to push the reset button on my habits.
    However, don’t take a break from all writing. I like Kelly’s suggestion about keeping yourself in the game by using small goals, to keep things going. 1000 words, a page a day, flash fiction…something to keep you going. The words may not be your best, but they will be yours and something you can build on. You have talent, don’t doubt that for a minute.

    The best thing you can do is give yourself permission to write crap. Crap only you see until you are ready to send it out. Blogs are public and if you don’t feel good about what you’re putting out there, you’ll undermine your own confidence.

    I’m here if you need me…I’m a cheerleader and I totally understand. You can do this, Chica. Have faith. The storm will pass.

    1. thanks, jeannie! my original intent was to take a break from blogging to focus on the other writing, but my work life has taken a turn for the busier, so i’ve been a bit too focused on that side of my life. i’m hopeful that the next few weeks will see me putting the pen to the paper, metaphorically speaking…

      thanks again for the pom poms. your cheers are definitely a boost!

  7. Getting some space between you and your writing can sometimes be a good thing. If you force it, the reader will feel it. I know. I’ve forced myself before and the end product showed it. Take a breather. Relax.

    And come back when you’re ready to do some real damage. But, don’t be a stranger. we’ll miss you A LOT.

  8. I am all for writing breaks. Because you never stop noticing things. You never stop thinking. Sometimes your brain just needs some time to reorganize itself. To file away old content. To clean the slate for something new. I like to think of it as rebooting. Good luck my friend. Enjoy the sabbatical.

    1. I like the mental image that my brain parts are marching around reordering themselves. And then recharging for a maximum boost in September. Thanks for the support!

  9. I’m having similar issues. But I agree, sometimes taking a step away is a good thing. I’ll let you know when I find something that works for me :(

    1. thanks, patty! i tried a session of handwriting last night and while it was rough draft crap, it felt a bit more romantic writing it long hand. and now, when i transcribe it to the computer, instant editing! too bad i type so much faster than i write, otherwise, i might consider this long term because, for me, it seems more “okay” to write crap by hand than on a computer screen. i don’t know why….

      anyways, good luck to you too!

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