Her: So, this isn’t the Ritz.
Me: I wasn’t expecting it to be.
Her: I mean, some places have really nice sleep labs.
Me: They do? Oh wow, I didn’t know that. This is sort of what I was anticipating.
Her: So when you’re ready, I’ll have you sit in this chair and we’ll get you hooked up with all the wires so you’ll look like Frankenstein.
Me: *thinks to self: looking like Dr. Frankenstein wouldn’t be much different than I look now. Looking like Frankenstein’s monster however…* *remains silent due to nerves*
I changed into my PJs, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got as comfy as one can be when she’s in a hospital’s sleep lab. The tech was waiting for me when I re-opened the door.
Her: *chats about what the electrodes are for, the red wax pencil, measures my head, my neck, discusses brand of tape used to secure electrodes onto my face*
Me: *sits mostly quietly*
Her: I saw this thing on Facebook. This man was using Drano, you know as you do, to clean a clogged drain and two tiny splashes got on him and now he has flesh eating bacteria. He had to get his hand amputated. They thought they got it all, but now it’s back. I mean, crazy story right.
Me: *gulps* Yikes.
I have zero idea how she expects me to sleep after a story like that?!