There was quite a bit of back and forth, but we managed to connect.

“MAGA! HI!” I fairly shouted.

“Oh, Abby, dear. So glad we could connect. I’m sorry I was busy earlier, but the pill lady arrived and when you’re 97, that’s a big part of your life.”

“Are you feeling okay? Your back?”

“I have spells when it hurts quite a bit more, but my knee is the really bad part of me.”

“Well, you do live in Colorado. Have you ever tried, you know, maraijuana?”

“Would a doctor prescribe that?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps?”

“My right knee pain is so localized. I don’t know if it would be helpful. I get a cream 2-3x a day right now. Not sure what would be better than that. All those tennis games that went to my knees.”

We chuckled and commiserated and discussed the pictures that came from the most recent glamorous family event. And then Maga dropped some very big family gossip that I won’t repeat.

I was suitably blown away by that news + the dating advice she felt the need to dispense upon me: “you don’t want to get a bad [guy], that wouldn’t work out so well” + the disappearing act she pulled shortly thereafter. I mean are dating habits nurture and not nature? Can I be taught better dating habits via a 97 year old who lives hundreds of miles away?

(I guess anything’s worth a shot, right?)

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