Category: feelings

“How was your day today,” Maga asked.

“It was good. I just got back from dinner with my friend.”

“Do you eat out often?”

“Not as much as I used to. I’m trying to save money.”

“Oh, yes. That’s a good thing.”

“The food that comes out of my kitchen isn’t as good though…”

“That’s life,” Maga said. “Take it as it comes.”

There’s some tough love for you on this Tuesday night. And by you, I mean me.

“Is it dark there?” Maga asked.

“Very,” I said. “It’s 9 o’clock.”

“Oh, well, yes, I guess it would be then. And where are you again?”

“Massachusetts.”

“Oh, yes. For three years I was there.”

“You were only at Wellesley for three years?”

“Wasn’t I?”

“College is usually four years.”

“’38 to ’42. How long is that?”

“Four years.”

“I thought it was only three years. Well, whatever it was, I endured it.”

I very nearly choked on my surprise. “You didn’t like it?”

“I don’t like how it’s getting dark so early now.”

“Me either. I also don’t like how rainy it was today.”

“It’s the time of year for rain,” Maga said.

“You’re right, but sometimes the rain helps you appreciate the sun even more.”

“Right you are.”

“Right YOU are,” I corrected.

“I guess we’re both right,” Maga said, allowing us to liberally continue congratulating ourselves on making it through another Tuesday, another gloomy (literally for me, figuratively for Maga) day, for being right about the season, and for carrying on a conversation despite some of the unexpected twists involved.

“Is it Tuesday?” Maga asked.

“Monday,” I said.

“You’re a little earlier than usual.”

On one hand, yes, Monday is earlier than Tuesday. On the other hand, I’m early 90% of the time, so I was right on time per my internal clock.

“I guess I am,” I settled for.

“Any fun travels lately?”

“I was in NH yesterday.”

“Oh, yes. Didn’t you call me?”

“I did.”

“Who were you visiting?”

“I was with a group of friends and we were celebrating my friend Margo’s grandmother’s birthday. She’s German and we were at Oktoberfest. Do you know what that is?”

“I’m getting older by the minute. I guess we all are.”

Her comment wasn’t related to anything I’d just said, but it was (coincidentally?) in the ballpark of birthdays. “Well, yes. That’s true.”

“It’s getting harder to predict what’s going to happen in the next two minutes.”

It was such a randomly specific time frame I had to wonder if it wasn’t random. Maybe (now that she’s off her memory medication) that’s how often she feels her memory lasts until it resets? But then again, she actually remembered talking to me yesterday, so her memory’s still somewhat in tact.

She was in relatively good spirits, so I didn’t dare broach the subject of why I’d been calling so often. I just kept the chat light and loose and focused on things that didn’t take more than two minutes of memory.

“Is it Tuesday,” Maga asked.

“Nope. It’s Friday.”

“And here you are again.”

“Here I am.”

“Thank you for calling. I love hearing your sweet voice.”

“Anytime.”

After that sweet introduction, we spent a bunch of time on the weather. We both had lovely fall days today.

“I don’t like it when food comes on my TV,” Maga said. “Do you?”

“I love it.”

“Really?”

“Well, yes because it’s way better looking than anything that comes out of my kitchen.”

“Now they’re in the mud.”

“While they’re making food?!?” I said.

“I think it’s a car commercial.”

“Okaaaay.”

“There’s John Elway on the Broncos field. Is there a football team you cheer for?”

“The New England Patriots.” #TB12

“And what sports do you play?”

I went over the various sports (softball, squash) I play, going to the gym, and how I spend a lot of time walking around due to having no car.

“Do you play ping pong,” Maga asked.

I nearly spit out the sip of water I’d just taken. “No.”

“It’s a good sport that you can play indoors and play all the time. There are lots of indoor courts. It’s very good exercise and you to have to keep on your toes.”

“Did you ever play??!?”

“Oh yes. I liked it very much. It was pretty good exercise.”

“I knew you played tennis, but ping pong? Really? Did you play at Wellesley?”

“Oh yes. I did. I loved playing. It was very good exercise. Do you play?”

“No. Where would I play?”

“I guess if you don’t have a table nearby, it isn’t as easy to handle.”

“Well said,” I said. “What other sports did you play?”

“Tennis. Golf. I didn’t ever like it as much as I like tennis. Tennis is my favorite. It’s much easier to play. And ping pong. Do you play?”

Suddenly, I feel like I’m in the middle of a ping pong commercial. And yet, I’m completely fine with it because Maga sounds so much better tonight. If this is what it takes, bring it on, Big Ping Pong.

 

“I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight,” Maga said.

“Why’s that?”

“I just don’t think so.”

“What do you do when you wake up at night?”

“Count some sheep.”

“You could try counting your blessings.”

“Oh, yes, I could.”

“That will keep you warm and cozy.”

“That’s what I want.”

“And it makes the dark less so.”

“That sounds pleasant.”

“Why do you think you won’t sleep tonight?”

“Things have been strange lately.”

She may not always be able to remember it, but her two daughters are halfway across the world on an epic adventure and the lack of communication with them (particularly Aunt J) is hitting Maga hard.

“Isn’t today Wednesday?” Maga asked.

“It is.”

“Why are you calling?”

“Am I not allowed to?”

“No, no. You can. But why.”

“I just wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?”

“Oh, yes. sure. They’re making a movie about Judy Garland.”

“Yes, they are. Did you like her?”

“Not really. I never paid much attention to her.”

“Why not??”

“I didn’t always like singing people so well. I mean I like them fine enough but it wasn’t that important to me.”

“Who was?”

“Those good actors.”

“Like, oh, Audrey Hepburn?”

“Sure. Yes. She was good. I just don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep tonight.”

“I think you’ll be okay.”

“I don’t. What am I going to do if I don’t sleep tonight? I’m just so confused.”

“It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. I’m all mixed up.”

“It happens,” I said truly, honestly, accurately. “You know what? I thought today was Thursday. All day long.”

“Today’s Wednesday!” Maga cried. “What a big mistake.”

“You see. It happens all the time.”

“But what am I going to do if I don’t sleep? I just don’t think I will.”

Caught in a circle much like one’s thoughts in the dark corners of evening, I did my best to soothe, to redirect, to tackle the questions head on. We talked for over 45 minutes until it seemed like a granddaughter wasn’t enough and I reached out to my Uncle D. Perhaps his deeper tones would be better at banishing the things that go bump in the night.

“What did you do today,” Maga asked, giving no indication she remembered talking to me earlier.

“I worked, played squash at lunch, and went to the library.”

“Did you pick up a…” she paused, thinking hard for a word, “good book?”

“I did.”

“What it called?”

I paused thinking of the best way to handle this one word title that I just knew she wouldn’t be able to make out if I spoke it. “The title is S-L-A-Y.”

“Oh, Slay. Is it…” she paused again searching for a word.

“It’s fiction and judging from the name, I think it’s kind of violent.”

“Well, there’s a bathroom that’s not very nice.”

“Huh?”

“Peyton Manning is looking for a home.”

“Huh?”

“H-O-M-E.”

I bit back my laughter and my retort at the incorrect assumption she made. It was time for me to just go where the conversation led. I could hear the TV on in the background, so I had a good idea of where this might end up.

“I’ve never enjoyed watching food on TV,” Maga said.

The comment was out of the blue and yet it was in sync with what I was expecting. You see we got a worrisome note this morning from Mom regarding Maga and I wasn’t sure what to expect on the other end of the phone tonight. Sure her confusion with people and words has increased over the past few weeks, but she’s always maintained a relatively chipper attitude with me. A benefit of being a granddaughter and not a daughter, I suspect. I know she’s 98 and slowing down and so I accept my duties to offer sunshine and support in whatever measures I can, even if it means settling in for an in-depth discussion of tonight’s TV programming.