vantage point

i am a dandelion amongst sunflowers. read: i’m short. my family is tall.

i am a word amongst numbers. read: i’m english minded. my family is scientifically and mathematically oriented.

what is the point of these opposites? no, it’s not opposites day. no, it’s not a writing exercise. my point is that i’m used to having a different take on things than those that surround me. but what i didn’t expect is that i could have an opposite viewpoint as from myself. how’s that, you ask? well, you see, i used to be a glass half-empty kind of gal, but now i’m a full-fledged glass half-full woman.

oh yeah, hear me roar.

it’s been a work in progress for sure. it began with a podcast, an article, a conversation, a book, a realization, a DECISION. slowly, i began to notice the sunshine filtering through the trees rather than the shadows it left behind. it has taken a lot of time and required daily effort. i’ve suffered delays and setbacks, but now? it’s true, i’ve changed. (don’t fret, friends. i still laugh at the word balls. and poop. and i’ll beat you to the “that’s what she said” punch any day.)

the act of switching how you think is a gradual process and one that still ebbs and flows to this day, so as it was, i didn’t notice how complete the change was until i came across this post. granted, i came across it because i was stalking myself and my blog stats and i clicked on the post to re-read it because i couldn’t recall off the top of my head what it was about. i read the words, but all i could hear was WHINE WHINE WHINE COMPLAIN WHINE.

when i sat down to write that post, it was to comment on the loneliness and frustration of loving someone in a different time zone. sure my intentions were borne of love, but the tone? oh GAH, the tone was the opposite of warm and fuzzy. in fact, it wasn’t any better than a hypothetical 2 year old in the middle of a meltdown. and no one wants to talk to or reason with a said 2 year old.

the point of that post (and i still feel this way today) was to explain that it’s tough to cultivate long distance relationships (friendships, lovers, family) and that i was homesick for certain west coast friends. BUT if i was to write that post today, i’d focus on how lucky i am to have friends who are brave enough to move across the country. i can learn from their bravery. i’m fortunate to have friends who live in different and amazing cities because it gives me a reason to travel. i’m delighted to have a friendship that means enough to me to miss it when it’s not around. i’m blessed to have friends on the west coast because i can call them at midnight on friday and they won’t be too tired to talk. i’m grateful that cell phones and voice mail have evolved because it means i can leave a silly message for my friend and not have to worry about it being overheard. i’m happy to have friends that listen to my messages and call me back and call again if our schedules don’t overlap.

because the truth is, i love receiving updates whether they’re over voicemail, on email, over bottles of wine, via text message, in person, over coffee, on the phone, through hallmark cards, or over beers. it doesn’t matter if the update is 2 hours or 15 paragraphs or 5 minutes or 140 characters. it’s all about the connection. i choose to connect with you. and your life. and i choose to do so wearing a smile.

reading that random blip of a post from 2006 reminds me that while my beliefs and interests haven’t changed, my take on life has and you know what? i like it here. i think i’ll stay. i’ve got a glass that’s half full, won’t you join me while i swirl it around in my glass and enjoy it?