will the real slim shady please stand up?

by the time you’re reading this post, it will have been written by past abby. present abby is in italy and unable to access this thing called her blog, but she didn’t want her dear readers to go without a post because, well, she’s (hopefully) off having fun gallivanting around italy and falling in love with vino and eating her weight in gelato and topping that off with another bowl of pasta and taking pictures of all that’s european and supervising a rather large work project and most definitely not getting lost, AND SO, she couldn’t be the one having all the fun. her readers need some too. welcome to the fun.

so that’s past abby and present abby, but what about future abby? what’s she up to?

well, if you ask 4 year old abby, she’d just ask where her blanket is. she doesn’t care (yet) about future abby. just the whereabouts of her blankie. and future abby (who is, let’s say 7) would pull the blanket out from in between the tangled sheets.

if you ask 13 year old abby, future abby (who is, let’s say, 17) gets her license on the very first try. the first of the mumford kids to accomplish that. HOORAH. but also, she’s the first that had to wait until she was 17 to be able to drive. dumb NJ laws.

if you ask 17 year old abby, future abby, (who is, let’s say 18) goes off to JMU for undergrad and despite balling her eyes out and feeling very scared for college to start, finds that the southern charm of virginia suits her and finds herself balling (again) when it’s time to come home for the summer. ah, the tears of youth.

and 19 year old abby would say to 18 year old abby, talk to your science professor when you’re having trouble! in a freshman science class that’s got a couple hundred kids, the prof can’t know the difference between you trying hard, but still having trouble vs. you deciding the kegger in apartment 205 is more important than science homework, so if you talk to him, he’ll then know it’s that your brain is having trouble rather than just deciding to take the afternoon off. so, go talk to him!

and 19 year old abby discovered the art of persuasion when she decided she wanted to study abroad in london for a semester, but she’d only do so if she had a familiar face with her. and thus began her campaign to convince R to come with her. note: abby FTW. and come on, it’s not like me convincing R to study abroad was a bad idea. living in london is never a bad idea. (“this sounds familiar!” says 29 year old abby, who wonders when her persuasion skills got so rusty, which is why she’s now alone in italy.)

21 year old abby waves happily from the other side of the pond. CHEERS!

and 21.4 year old abby goes on spring break to italy (venice, rome, florence) and 29 year old abby looks down the coast hoping to see the ghost of her former self (along with R and J). 29 year old abby thinks that would be AWESOME if she could see the ghost of her former self, like the time trials in Mario Kart where you can race against your best time which takes the form of a ghostly Toad. (yes, Toad was my character of choice).

if you ask 22 year old abby, future abby (who is, let’s say 24) says that boston is great. come on over!

if you ask 25 year old abby, future abby (who is, let’s say 27) happily skips across the lesley U stage during graduation. that MFA is totally worth it. so stop dilly dallying and apply already!

if you ask 29 year old abby, she’d tell everyone that she’s never typed her name so much. it’s to the point where the word abby sounds weird now. agreed?

and what would you tell abby (any age, any year, any incarnation) if she asked you to leave her a message so she has something to read upon her return to the states? OR you could just wish my friend melissa many happy returns of the day cause it’s her birfday. and that’s a cause for confetti.

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7 Responses to “will the real slim shady please stand up?”

  1. Kelly B Says:

    I would say that Kelly offered to go with Abby to Italy but Abby did not take her up on it and that is the reason Abby had to read this post to Abby that Kelly did b/c otherwise Kelly would be with Abby in Italy right now!

  2. gina Says:

    Confetti for Melissa!

    Welcome back to Boston! I would tell Abby not to come back, or at least extend the trip even longer. (Not to keep you out of MA but to keep you on vacay mode for just a little longer:P) Oh and that she should know that I’m living vicariously through her, even though she is working 12 hr days, so she’d better be having a blast! *no pressure*

    • abby mumford Says:

      thanks for the warm welcome back wishes. it was a whirlwind of a trip, parts stressful and parts relaxing. and now, it’s time to re-integrate back into life. it’s weird how 10 days away can really pull you out of your routine.

  3. Elizabeth Says:

    Happy Birthday, Melissa!

    If Abby had told us earlier about a trip to Italy, say 6-8 weeks in advance so that plane tickets weren’t so completely ridiculous, Abby might have been fighting off my company. Just saying…

    Anyway, welcome back home, future Abby!

    • abby mumford Says:

      i wish i had known about the trip 6-8 weeks beforehand, but the nature of this project is so delayed and last minute and hectic and harried that i didn’t even get the go ahead until 2 weeks before i left. which sadly, eliminated any chance of having any company.

      thanks for the welcome back wishes.

  4. adriana Says:

    Happy belated birthday, Melissa!

    Things I want to tell future Abby:

    I am impressed that you were able to write this post and keep all the Abbys straight, because, man, I was so confused reading it! :)

    Also, when you get back, people will probably tell you that I’ve been sneaking into your office, and they’ll probably warn you to check if something is missing :) I’ve had to borrow you-know-which-book a couple of times, and every time somebody has seen me go into your closed office :) But I swear, I returned it, because I know you’d cut me otherwise!

    Also, the other morning i was on the bus to work and I was looking out the window expecting to see you go by on your bike. Duh?!

    And lastly, this exchange between me and Cristina, abt. you-know-what being OVER in 2015:

    Cristina: Is it 2015 yet?

    Me: No, sadly it’s not 2015 yet. Although, I think that by the Muslim
    counting, it’s way past it…

    Cristina: Just checked, they’re still in 1431. They haven’t even
    discovered America yet. If we stop them on time, none of this will ever
    happen.

    • abby mumford Says:

      i love the exchange between you and cristina. classic.

      and starting tomorrow, you can look out the bus window again and expect to see me biking by.

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