squash this

if you put the word SQUASH into a google image search, you come up with pictures like these.

they’re all squash-ed in.

that’s exactly what i look like (except for the whole, “i’m a girl and he’s not” thing). what i mean to say is that i project the same badassery that he does. obviously.

so the real point here is why was i searching the word squash and why did i just subject you to those pictures? well, it’s relevant this time of year because it’s autumn and farmers are harvesting their fruits and vegetables AND i’m learning how to play squash. i had my first match on wednesday, during lunch.

why am i learning how to play squash? it’s part of this whole life upgrade thing. and the whole, i’m trying to get in tip top shape for the big 3-0 in january. the gym is boring. this spices things up a bit. especially when you consider the fact that i’ve never played before and i’m entering into a highly competitive trio of dudes. i’m a highly competitive chick, so this isn’t intimidating as much as frustrating. i don’t like to lose. but i’m starting at the bottom and playing against guys who’ve been playing for years, if not decades. let’s hope i’m good with a steep learning curve.

the trick to squash (aside from learning how to use your wrist. tee hee.) is watching your opponent and knowing his/her weaknesses. yes, this is how most games are played, but this is a fast game (true story) and by the time you’ve figured out your opponent’s weaknesses, you’re already down 2 games to none. (maybe that’s just me. it was my first time, cut me some slack.) i think this whole “observe and conquer” will suit me well as i embark into my 30s.

*cackles evilly* yeah, i’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

AND hey, i just realized, i’ve already had a brief and lovely encounter with squash. with joan bauer’s squash to be precise. if you haven’t read her work, you really should. she’s a master at humor. and creating awesomely strong female leads.

and p.s. i realize there are a lot of links in this post, so to keep things interesting, ONE of them (no, i’m not telling which) leads to a special surprise. happy clicking!

(TWSS)

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14 Responses to “squash this”

  1. Linda G. Says:

    LOL! You scared me.

    Also, if if get to choose which of those pictures to “squash,” I’ll take the second one. ;)

    • abby mumford Says:

      ha ha. you found the special link then? and yes! i knew i could count on you to provide a proper innuendo early on a friday AM.

      and hey, good news, this didn’t go to the spam folder. it looks like when you play nice, wordpress spams you, but when you go insinuating innuendos, wordpess likes it and let’s you fly free. squash on!

  2. Kelly B Says:

    Rock on with your bad self. So when you have mastered Squash…whats next?

    • abby mumford Says:

      i think the art of mastering squash will take quite some time. i’ll get back to you in about a year’s time.

  3. Elizabeth Says:

    Haha, boo to you! God, I love Halloween.

  4. adriana Says:

    oh, so this was the educational lunch break you were talking about! good luck!

    the squash dude is very veiny… but he has cool goggles! :)

    observe and conquer! tee-hee. *high-fives*

    • abby mumford Says:

      yup. it was an education indeed and i’m still sore in some unexpected places. right forearm. groin. glutes. ok, i’ll stop talking now and go take some aleve.

  5. Elizabeth Says:

    Hahaha. I like it. One my friends went as a gold digger one year, which I really enjoyed. She had a gold lame’ (one day I’ll figure out the accent codes, I swear) dress, a faux fur coat, and a giant shovel she’d dipped in glue and then gold glitter. It was rather awesome.

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