feelings

santa’s secrets

december 24th has always been a magical sort of day, especially when the stockings were hung by the chimney with care cause we knew SANTA WAS COMING!

GROWING UP. santa’s arrival was SUCH AN EXCITING THING, it was impossible to sleep in. since my poor parents had been up to all hours getting things ready, they refused to get out of bed before the sun was up (how rude), but we weren’t allowed to open presents until they were awake. what a conundrum! and so to contain our energy (read: delay the inevitable), they compromised with us: we could open stocking gifts without parents present. and so. we did. at 5am. and then we’d fall asleep waiting for mom and dad to wake up before the main show (breakfast, getting dressed, making beds, and then OPENING PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) could begin.

NEXT. we got older and found out what (or rather who) is behind the magic. at first, it seems a bit disappointing, but then you realize the magic is still there because when you think about it (and you do), you understand that it really does take magic to pull off an event like christmas. (and you thank your parents for the efforts they put in all those years). and you get excited by the holiday all over again.

AND THEN. i was lucky enough to have sister E be born when i was 11, which meant we got to play along with the santa magic, except this time, WE were the magic. i don’t have to tell you how cool it was to be in on the secret. to be the one eating the cookies and drinking the milk and nibbling the carrots left out for santa and his reindeer. to be the one who’s footsteps could be mistaken for a reindeer on the roof. sister E outgrew it, but nieces and nephews catapulted onto the scene and so us being the magic continued. happily.

AND NOW. all those years believing + all those years being means the magic for me is still tangible. probably because i want it to be. and i don’t mean i want it to be true that one man flies all over the world delivering presents and taking credit away from mom and dad. what i mean is that i now know how hard this holiday is on everyone and so i want the magic to inflitrate our worlds as laughter and relaxing moments and shiny lights and warm family moments and getting to sleep in.

thanks for putting on a merry show again this year, Santa, i mean, mom and dad. 

2 thoughts on “santa’s secrets”

  1. CARROTS for Santa!! He must be European:P
    You know, I never believed in Santa and I feel like I’ve missed out. Also, it sounds fun, *being* Santa.

    Merry Christmas!!

    1. the carrots were for the reindeer, silly. they need their sustanence too, you know. and yes, i admit, it’s equally as much fun to believe in santa as it is to BE santa.

      ah the wonders of growing up.

      merry christmas eve!

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