hitting the GO button

as soon as i hit pause on my writing life, everything else seemed to hit GO FAST NOW BUSY IMMEDIATELY CRAZY, but i survived and not so surprisingly learned something along the way:

seeing is believing.

i know, i know, the whole santa clause and easter bunny and tooth fairy things, but it’s a tough thing, these early stages of a writing career, when the stuff you’re producing isn’t fit for public consumption and so the only appropriate thing to put out there is this blog and the main people who are your audience are related to you and they assume you know they care. and i do know, but it never hurts to have things like that reiterated.

like the time i was at the dinner table in my parents’ house and my dad asked my mom if she’d somehow unsubscribed to my blog because he hadn’t gotten any emails regarding new posts lately. (thanks for reading, dad!) and then my mom and sister E laughed and said, well did you read the last one? (thanks for reading mom and sister E!)

or the time when i opened my mailbox to find a handwritten letter from sister E that was so full of encouragement, i almost got punched in the face by the pom poms. (thanks for the syrupy love, sister E!)

or when sister J basically chased baby mac down the hall because she was chanting “abby abby abby” and i hadn’t yet heard my name from her lips. if that’s not some great cheerleading, i don’t know what is. (thanks for the extra effort, J! and for making me one of your words, baby mac!)

or that afternoon when my friend L attempted to teach me how to play cribbage and i quickly realized that when one can barely add to 15 (especially under pressure), one better work harder at her writing because simple math is not what’s going to bring the paycheck home. (thanks for your patience, L! i’m gunning for you  now, dad and grandpa. you may have kept all the mathematical genes for yourselves, but with practice, i too can add to 15 and 31. “that’s all there is and there is no more.”)

or when brother G sent me an email with “guess who put on his shoes” as the subject line and this as the body of the text:

which reminded me that no matter what age or what subject, we are all making mistakes, BUT it’s all in the name of learning. (thanks for the lesson, G (and newphew L), but more importantly, thanks for the laugh.)

or the occasion when my friend N, who never comments online, made a comment to me offline about how he still checked my blog throughout august just in case i posted something… (thanks for being such a consistent, if mute, reader. :)

or the time when all my loyal commenters wrote me words of encouragement, left me bits of advice, warned me not to keep my distance and basically left me a most needed trail of breadcrumbs. it made it much easier to find my way back to the interwebs. (thanks adriana, jeannie, karla, kelly, kristen, and linda for understanding!)

or the moment when my grandfather emailed me this poem and wished me a prosperous time in the land of pause. (thanks for reading and commenting and dispensing wisdom and thinking of me, grandpa!)

‘I learned her name was Proverb’ by Denise Levertov

And the secret names
of all we meet who lead us deeper
into our labyrinth
of valleys and mountains, twisting valleys
and steeper mountains-
their hidden names are always,
like Proverb, promises:
Rune, Omen, Fable, Parable,
those we meet for only
one crucial moment, gaze to gaze,
or for years know and don’t recognize

but of whom later a word
sings back to us
as if from high among leaves
still near but beyond sight

drawing us from tree to tree
towards the time and the unknown place
where we shall know
what it is to arrive.

i can’t say i’m 100% sure i’ve arrived or that i know what it entails, but i do know that in terms of blogging, I’M BACK AND I MISSED YOU ALL.

22 thoughts on “hitting the GO button”

  1. HOORAY!!!

    So good to see you blogging again. I’ve missed you. :)

    I used to watch my dad play cribbage when I was a kid. Never learned how to play it myself. Maybe I should try.

    1. thanks, linda! it feels good to be back, although i was weirdly nervous for this post to go up, almost as if it was my first post ever!

      watching cribbage seems like it’d be insanely confusing because trying to play it was confusing enough for me, but then again, people say the same thing about lacrosse and i like it a lot, so maybe i just need more time to get used to it.

  2. great to see you back, abbs! we missed you :) <—er, I just looked at this and thought, does that make me look happy that she's back or that she was gone? *ponders* ah well, take it as you will. welcome back, anyway :) <–that one definitely means I'm happy you're back. just so you know

    1. just when i thought i had a handle on my words, you go and mix in some emoticons. now i’ve got to start all over! ;)

  3. Yoo hoo! Welcome back! I’ve missed you! There were several times in August when I would think, Oh, it’s Tuesday (or Oh, it’s Friday), I should stop by Abby’s blog!, and then remember that you were on pause, and be disappointed :(

    I hope the time off was productive! And I hope all the CRAZY GO NOW FAST stuff has slow down so that you don’t have to leave us again!

    1. i have you well trained, my pet.

      and uh, no, the CRAZY GO NOW FAST stuff continues… now i must master the art of juggling. OR just join the circus.

  4. Mute no longer! Glad to see you back bloggin’ Abby! I hope the Fall is just as inspirational for you but not as CRAZY IMMEDIATLY BUSY!

    1. i will definitely need a refresher AND practice. and then some more of both. you saw my math skills (and refrained from bursting out laughing.) let’s go with more practice, please!

  5. Yay!! So glad you are back! Missed your writing tons! With Baby Mac being so crazy these days I didn’t get to go online till just now and cheered when I saw your new blog. I quickly told Mom and Dad to which they replied, “We know…we already read it!” I must be getting slow. Abby continues to be ones of Baby Mac’s favorite words so I can’t wait till she sees you this weekend to associate your name and face once again! Oh, and we can practice cribbage if you want so you can beat Lauren next time you see her ;) xoxo, love j

    1. Wait, you know how to play cribbage? I did not know this. How did I not know this? Is there any game you aren’t a whiz at? Also, very excited to see you ladies in a few short days!

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