feelings

losing

when you lose your way while driving home at 1am at night, you’re forced to concede control to rudy, the GPS. (she’s named as such because she gives you, you know, the route.) i had misheard the instructions from my friend’s mom and instead of taking route 70, i used it as a marker that i was on the right path. (yeah, yeah, we all know i’m horrid with directions.) and of course, rudy was no help because she wanted me to take 95N instead of the more direct route of 295N to 95S (don’t ask, 95 is weird) (and this is why i wasn’t following her in the first place. the only way i know how to make her recalculate is by actually knowing where i’m going!), so i flew by my exit and then had to trust rudy would get me home. she did, even though it was the scenic route at 2am.

when you lose your bodily fluids (such as blood during a massive and unexpected nose bleed [you should see the other guy]), you’re forced to ask for help. fortunately, bubba mac (my almost 1 month old nephew) was sleeping, so sister J and baby mac (my almost 2 yo niece) were able to come to the rescue with extra tissues, ice, plastic bags, books, and bro-in-law T (a doctor) on speed dial. we holed up in the bathroom and waited it out because there’s not much else you can do in a situation like that.

(of course, it felt a lot more dramatic than that when it was happening and then when baby mac threw a very unusual temper tantrum because she was a bit scared of what was happening to me. hey, me too!)

when you lose your voice (yup, same culprit which caused the aforementioned issue), you’re forced to let others speak for you. sometimes the person that speaks up first is baby mac. she explained my nose bleed as, “abby ouchie. nose running.” it was simple, direct, and made me laugh, which is way better than what i was doing before she started talking, not to mention, we could actually hear her whereas the lack of my voice rendered even my mumblings mute.

let’s hope this bout of losing is over and a whole bunch of WINNING comes my way (and soon)!

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writing

procrastination

sometimes someone else just says it better.

in this case, it’s victoria schwab and she’s talking about procrastination. she’s referencing how it relates to writing, but honestly, it relates to procrastination in general and i think you all should read it.

thank you, victoria, for putting these words in the order they’re in. it makes a lot of sense and eases my mind. not that you started out with that intention. you probably started out trying to figure out where you fit into all of it, but aren’t those the best moments? the ones where your self clarity is actually a general public self clarity. we can all relate.

have you clicked through to read it yet? here’s another chance.

 

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writing

FWIS: freedom

FWIS (from where i stand) is a monthly feature i’m doing with jessica corra and bria quinlan. all three of us are YA writers in different places in our journeys. (check out their links for this month’s FWIS from their points of view.)

today’s topic: FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM.

(sorry, i can’t see, hear, or read that word and not picture the end of BRAVEHEART.)

so what does freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeom have to do with writing? well, as proposed by jessica, she wanted to know “what’s bugging you lately? what’s on your mind? what do you REALLY WANT TO TELL EVERYONE?”

what i want, what i really really want to tell people is how excited i am about this class i just took. it was an online class (recommended to me by bria) called plotting via motivation. the teachings of the class made so much sense to my brain + the teacher of the class was wonderfully supportive and funny and generous with her time and advice.

the reason i’m so jazzed up about the class (which ended on friday 3/30) is because over the course of a month (the length of the class), i wrote an entire plot for a book. the plot may be skeletal, but the bare bones are all i need. i’m not sure if i’m even going to write this book, because after all, i picked the idea on a whim. it was just one i used to practice. i had to start with a new idea so that i’d learn the proper way to plot from conception to ending. i’ve saved all of the lectures and homework and worksheets and you bet i’ll be referring to them over and over again and again.

i had begun to feel overwhelmed and confused by the act of writing, by the act of what i wanted to write, and so i had stepped away from my own words to spend some time reading those of others. i realize now that was my own brand of procrastination, but this class has snapped me back into shape!

it’s good to be back.

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feelings

what’s in a name?

or, more specifically, what’s in my name?

talk of names has been a topic of conversation lately because, well, you know, but it turns out i didn’t know the full story of my own name.

that story starts off unexpectedly as my arrival was three months early. with a 5 yo (brother G) and a 2yo (sister J) already running through the house, my parents didn’t have much time to sit and discuss names, especially at such an early stage in the game. needing a name (pronto!) not only because the NICU nurses asked about it, but because my mom was afraid i wouldn’t fight to survive if i didn’t have a name, my parents opened the book of baby names and found the first one they liked which also happened to be on the first page.

abigail.

because i was so tiny, they’d call me abby because it was a better fit and when i became president, i could go by the more official name of abigail.

this i knew, but my middle name was the story i hadn’t heard. seeing as i was a wee tot (weighing in at a mean fighting weight of 2lbs 6oz), my mom felt i needed a name to ground me to the real world, to tie me to someone who loved her and would do anything to keep her alive.

she gave me her name.

and that’s the story of how i became me, or well, how i came to wear such a name.

how about you? how’d your name end up on you? were your parents considering any other names? what about nicknames? any usual ones? unusual ones?

 

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