goodbye

i don’t want to burden you readers with sad posts, but what i really want to write today is one more thing about grandpa. his memorial service is tomorrow and it’s only fitting i write a little more for him. for me. his official obituary is here. i didn’t gather the facts or write the bones of the article, but i did smooth out the rough edges and bumpy transitions which is only fitting considering that’s what he tried to do whenever he gave us advice.

my original idea for this post was to memorialize the final few quotes he’d sent me making this his 6th guest post, but really, there were only two pieces i wanted to share. the first is this:

Words are things; and a small drop of ink / Falling like dew upon a thought, produces / That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think. Lord Byron, (1788-1824)

it arrived on 1/22/13, six days after he passed, in the form of a “do you want to keep subscribing” email. you see, grandpa had signed me up for “a word a day” and at the bottom of each one was a quote, a thought of the day, if you will. i knew where he was getting the quotes he’d forward to me, after all, i was getting the very same emails, but i pretended i didn’t know. often, i wouldn’t even read all the way through the “word a day” emails because i didn’t want to spoil the quote. i wanted what he sent to be a surprise — both the words of another and which words made him think of me.

but with that email, the gig was up.

it was all on me now — to subscribe, to read, to think. this last “thought of the day” was so apt, so spot on, so something he would have forwarded to me, i cried. i cried because i missed him and our irregular regular communications but also because i could no longer pretend.

the magic from those “a word a day” emails was gone and the burden of missing him too much, so i refrained from re-upping my subscription. there’s only so much growing up you can do in a day.

the second thing i’ll always carry with me (literally (i printed it out and put it in my wallet) and figuratively) is an email he sent to me on 2.14.12.

Hi Abby – My wish for you today is love. Grandpa

ten words. one line. simple. sweet. honest. necessary.

it’s what i wish for YOU today and all the days.

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10 Responses to “goodbye”

  1. lindagrimes Says:

    What an appropriate quote. Your grandpa touched a lot of lives, even people he didn’t know, here, through you and your blog. Thanks for sharing him with us. I know you’ll miss his immediate presence in your life, but he’ll always be a warm spot in your soul. :)

  2. Adriana (@adicloud) Says:

    I love the Byron quote AND the 10-word message! How very sweet and generous of him to send you these messages! And what a beautiful and moving post you wrote for him!

    Hugs and love to you! XOX

  3. Karla Nellenbach Says:

    Aw, Abs. I didn’t know your grandpa IRL, but I kind of felt like I did, both through his guest posts and hearing you talk about him (i.e. reading your blog). He will definitely be missed by many. *hugs*

    ps. don’t tell anyone i initiated a cuddle huddle. that can be our little secret ;)

  4. Rachael Says:

    This was so moving. My gosh. So well written and emotional. Sending you love this weekend and always! I can see how blessed you are to have had this man in your life.

  5. kmmunsey Says:

    What a lovely human being. Both of you. I am sorry for your loss Abby.

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