Tag: almost daily selfie

it’s a mob scene in my mind.

nothing seems to get done on the first try. not my sink. not my car. not my condo hunt.

so much of anxiety lies in the waiting for things to happen.

the plumber fixed one leak (thought it was the leak) but the wet footprints smacked on my floor from his shoes from the snowy outdoors was more foreshadowing and less of a chore to clean up.

around and around and around.

advice given. advice taken. being an adult sucks, except for the part where i can eat ice cream for dinner.

so much good news from internet friends.

so much bad news from forecaster friends.

how long can one sustain such a roller coaster of emotions and still survive?

drinking tea from my “write like a motherf*cker” mug is too delicate. i’m too delicate. i need to write no matter what. why can’t i? why don’t i want to?

re-reading the HARRY POTTER series has been a blessing in disguise because the beginning of this year has been fraught with feelings and diving into those books wraps me up like a hug from a familiar friend. i can read them when i’m anxiously tapping my foot while the plumber does his plumbing…

putting those plastic coverings over your windows is 1,000,000x harder than the four step sequence on the box. here’s hoping extra slivers tapped on because i cut it too short still block out the drafts from icicle laden air.

it’s quiet in the office. it’s quiet outside with the snow falling. it’s loud in my head.

i purchased new glasses and with the new frames came a doctor’s appointment and a slightly modified prescription. the frames are darker and more structural and a completely different shape that my previous ones, which i’ve had for 11 years. it was a big change. i thought i was ready for it and yet, the glasses weren’t comfortable. they were so bold against my blonde features and i felt dizzy every time i put them on (at the office while looking at the computer). i tried them on for short periods of time. i left them on for long stretches. i felt sick whenever i wore them. i went back to the eye doctor and they checked out the lenses and said they matched the prescription. i shook my head. i scheduled another appointment with the eye doctor to recheck my eyes. it was a different doctor and she essentially agreed with the first one, but determined we should take the prism part out of the prescription. she thought that was originally prescribed because of all the headaches i was experiencing, but since i was so uncomfortable/dizzy with it in the prescription, so had it removed.

i picked up my new glasses last night and i’m wearing them now. it wasn’t the frames i was intensely aware of but the lenses. with the right prescription, i can see like a millions bucks.

we got 24″ of snow monday/tuesday. another 5″ is set to fall tomorrow. i’ve snowed all the snow i can snow. and yet, at least it’s not the 7 feet of lake effect snow that rochester, NY got at the end of 2014. 29″ seems feasible when framed by 7 feet.

the yoga teacher today would tell us the pose to go into and then add on a more complex movement for those advanced students (read: not me). it was the first time a teacher’s given the pose and then suggested a more difficult version. usually they go for the difficult move and then explain a modified, easier pose. it made the class more accessible and more enjoyable and i was less likely to compete with myself when i had no business doing so.

i’ve discovered herbal teas are up my tastebuds’ alley. well, lemon/ginger and lemon/hibiscus ones anyways. next step, try to find a caffeinated tea i can enjoy. suggestions welcome.

as class began, the teacher noted it was particularly full and she guessed that it had something to do with the blizzard we’d survived the previous day. she said it was a humbling thing to surrender to the force of mother nature, to admit that we can’t always be in control. during the warmup, she explained we should open our hearts, let them be the sunshine and light up our bodies. i’m fairly certain if you unleashed us into the world at that moment, we’d have melted all the snow carebear stare style. in the middle of one particularly difficult / awkward movement, she told us to breathe encouragement into the spaces of our bodies that needed it. i focused. i breathed. i found that forcing my breath forward with intention truly did deepen the stretch. who knew my breath was such a formidable ally?

i plan on calling upon it a lot, who knows, maybe it’ll even do my laundry.

the items i carried over to R’s apartment so i could hunker down and wait out the blizzard with a friendly face by my side:

3.5 portions of pesto pasta
pretzel rods
nutella
peanut butter
english muffins
2 ziploc bags of lettuce
salad dressing
2 granola bars
saltine crackers
gatorade
2 sam lites
3 harpoon long thaw white IPAs
1 bengali tiger IPA
2 bottles red wine
4 tea bags
6 ziploc bags of ice
water bottle
laptop
kindle
1 hardcover book
1 paperback book
toiletries
sweatshirt
PJs
snow boots
mittens
winter hat
layers of clothes

that fit into one backpack, one thermal /cooler bag, and one segmented beverage bag. it was as heavy as it sounds and I’ve never been so grateful to see the orange lights of the bus and then hear the squealing brakes of T and to climb three flights of stairs to R’s apartment where i could unload, literally and figuratively.