Tag: boston

general

confused at the car wash

abby mumford

because the present has been given, i can now share the story of how i bought roommate’s birthday gift.

there’s the saying “it’s just like riding a bike” and if you’re me, that means you end up embarrassed or slightly injured or confusing the guys at the car wash. let me explain. oh, but first, some background. (i’ll make it quick.) i’ve changed my breakfast eating habits and as a result, i’m MUCH slower in the mornings. i’ve had to get over my (somewhat unfounded) fears and ride my bike to work. because when i ride, it takes a whopping 10 minutes to get to work vs. the 30 minutes it takes me to walk. and let me tell you, other than horrible helmet hair, i am loving this mode of transportation. especially since i’ve been working late. do you know how nice it is to be home in 10 minutes instead of 30? cause then i’m that much closer to my comfy clothes. and all i want after a long day at work is to be comfy.

i digress.

so on wednesday, i decide to forgo the gym and ride my bike around town as i check some errands off my to do list. i told myself i’d keep my bike in a higher gear, thus forcing my legs to work harder because this was my only exercise for the day. one of my stops was at the car wash to buy a gift card for my roomie’s birthday. she is kind to her car. she likes to treat it right. me and my bike can respect that.

i pull up to the opening of the car wash and hop off my bike. there’s one car in the garage, one lined up behind it. there’s no employee that i can see. there’s nowhere to lock up my bike, so i stand and wait. i mean, there are two cars there, a guy has to come help soon. plus, i hate it when i don’t know what to do. i get shy. so i wait. and i watch. and i hope the answer will come to me. i’m a patient person.

the driver of the second car gets out and runs inside, speaks to a guy and then returns to his car and leaves.

hmmmmm.

i poke my head into the doorway because (a) i feel really weird WALKING into a car wash. (b) i want to signal to the guy that i’m there waiting. (c) i want to make sure they’re still open because why did that car just leave? (d) i don’t want to leave my bike because, as i said, there’s nowhere to lock it up and i’m paranoid that someone will steal my beauty of a bicycle. i spot a man and yell “are you still open? do you sell gift cards?” and the guy gives me a confused look and holds up one finger. no not THAT finger, the one that signals he needs one more minute. i continue to wait patiently. cause that’s how i roll.

he goes over to the car that’s also waiting patiently and does that pre-wash thing where he washes the car before it heads onto the automatic belt that’ll roll the car through the big wash. (that always struck me as odd. it’s sort of like washing the dishes before running the dishwasher.) with that car taken care of, he turns to me. i repeat my question about them having gift cards and he says “yes, autos.” i nod. he studies me and then says, “cars.” i realize i’m still wearing my bike helmet and have blonde hair and what? does he think i want to ride through the car wash? i laugh and say, “yes, cars. not my bike.” he smiles and we complete the transaction. (note to self, they only have one type of card. and it includes 5 washes. so don’t ask for anything more or less.)

happy with that mission accomplished, i return to my bike and ride off into the sunset. that was thwarted because, well, this is real life, and people like me don’t ride off into the sunset. not when you forgot to down shift the gears and you’re attempting to start your bike on 2.7; it’s like pedaling through peanut butter. and not when you’re biking down somerville ave which has all these new speed bumps. for the .5 miles i was on that road, i had to go over, no joke, 17 of them. they are those long, sloping up/down, flat top in the middle bumps that aren’t fun in a car and really aren’t nice to ride over on a bike. i had to perch atop my bike over each one. i was having flashbacks to horseback riding lessons where you raise in the stirrups as the horse goes over the jump. except my bike’s not nearly as handsome as a horse. (sorry bike, you’re not.)

no one ever said gift giving was easy.

general

did i run away and join the circus without my consent?

abby mumford

these past few months, but specially these last two weeks, have been an extreme test of my ability to handle stress. to keep my head from popping off. to maintain a professional demeanor and not glare at anyone and everyone who emails, calls, walks into my office. to get it all done and explain to the next person how it works while wearing a smile on my face. to balance on the thin wire of work and life outside the office.

being at work lately has felt like i’m the ringmaster, the lion tamer, the girl riding bareback and doing back flips through hoops while still landing on the back of the horse, the tight rope walker, the elephant trainer, the driver of the clown car, the 57th clown that gets out of the car, the juggler who’s just switched from bowling pins to fiery batons, the person hawking popcorn and cotton candy and those blinking light souvenirs, the parent watching over their child, AND the person who has to clean up and pack up the big top tent.

which leaves me with ZERO energy for anything outside of work. and putting in no effort with your life and hobbies and friends and health and family? that leaves me with a very flat existence. much like the big top tent after the support poles and bleachers and equipment and people and animals and air has been pulled out.

i’ve learned that me + stress = one big grumpypuss. i know this, but now i REALLY know this. it’s lodged at the forefront of my brain. (it’s probably making my forehead look a little lumpy.) but i don’t know how to stop. i want to do a good, complete job. there is a reason (i can’t think of it at the moment) that my boss chose to give me oh so very much work and i don’t want to disappoint him. but what about when i disappoint my family and friends? it’s a little like this, i suppose. where work is the “new friend” and everything else is the “old friend”. i need to make sure i pick up my undies for both my old and new friends. they deserve to be treated equally. but how do you do that when one demands so much more attention?

when do you draw the line? when you reach your breaking point? right before you crack? right after your head’s exploded? when your TO DO list reaches 100 items? when you arrive at work early, don’t take lunch, and still have to stay late? when your roommate wonders why she hasn’t seen you all week? when your friends are shocked by the lack of emails from you? when your family wonders why you don’t call? when you seriously consider early retirement? when you don’t smile a true smile all day? when you can’t remember the last time you heard good news? when your stress levels rocket because you have no outlet (working out, hanging out, writing) of release?

where do you put it? and how do you draw it? a stick in the sand? masking tape down the middle of the room? with a closed door? with tears down your cheeks? with hershey’s kisses?

what do you do when you give too much to one thing and not enough to another?

and so, to all those (online and off, in real life and digital life, in my manuscript) who have been neglected by the recent rush of work i’ve been doing, these are for you. they’re forget me not’s.

please accept them with my sincerest apologies for disappearing. and please, FORGET ME NOT while i’m gone.

general

a reason to celebrate

abby mumford

yes, today is the 5th of may. cinco de mayo. per wikipedia:

a holiday held on May 5 that commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.[2][3] It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States.[4][5][6][7] While Cinco de Mayo sees limited significance and celebration nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed nationwide in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.

but there is another reason to cheer today. i fought my own battle and i have come out victorious.

the contenders in the ring were me and ANTISPYWARE SOFT (a dirty, vile computer virus). the battle started on sunday when a “windows security alert” popped up. OH HO. trickster. it looks like it’s scanning your computer, when in fact it’s actually disabling your antivirus software. and then mucks up everything else. on monday, i got a tip to run my laptop in safe mode. but i’m no brain. and this virus has a big one. i got knocked down and wasn’t sure i’d be able to get back into the ring. fortunately, i have a secret weapon, K. so secret, he didn’t even know it. but i tag-teamed him and he hopped into the ring and threw his considerable IT weight around. laptop is now all spiffy and shiny and working. actually working. i’m writing this very post on laptop. *weeps tears of relief*

but the real reason to celebrate here is friendship. i had to call in reinforcements (the aforementioned K), who i met my first year here in boston. he lived in my apartment building. we’ve hung out in bars and on softballs fields over the years, but of late, our time together has been very infrequent and has been relegated to the moments we run into each other on the sidewalk. (we work in the same neighborhood, so this isn’t as random as it sounds.)

and yet, he answered my SOS. and then spend 2+ hours working on my defunct laptop. and all he asked in payment was a 6 pack.

i’d like to think that having 2+ hours to spend with me is something to look forward to, but i’m no fool, he’s just a generous soul. and that reminds me to be one too. to give back to others even if you’ve had a long day. to give back to others even if you’ve had a great day. to give back to others because it recharges you. to give back to others because that’s what you believe in.

thank you, K. thank you a million times over. for saving my laptop. for reminding me that the breadth of friendship is vast and all encompassing. and for showing me how to pay it forward. OLE!

sports

boston wears spring well. i don’t.

abby mumford

things i learned on a very spring-like sunday afternoon.

i like to make lists. of things i need to do. of drills to run before the game. of the lineup. of things the team needs to work on. of who needs a new uniform.

the learning curve is very steep and we’re at the bottom. this is a very new program, our first year for the U13s and we’ve only had 3 practices. we are playing against a team that has been in existence for 10 years. they are going to be better. it’s a complex game, but we are going to keep practicing and keep educating ourselves. watch your backs because here we come.

some kids do remember me. even one who wasn’t on my team. yes, my first game of the 2010 season and i’m playing against the program where i coached for the past 5 years. yes, it was a bit nerve-wracking.  but the kids remembered me. it feels good to know that maybe i am making a difference. maybe they are listening to me.

your car can get towed on a sunday. even though it’s sunday. and i’ve parked there before. and other cars were parked there. and we checked with a police officer who said they weren’t ticketing or towing. and people will comment “oh yes, i saw your car getting towed 10 minutes ago.” and it doesn’t matter that you just spent 3 hours volunteering your time and 20 more minutes cleaning up the field. no good deed goes unpunished. and the guys at the towing company will not be friendly or contain a smidge of nice in between their beards and gravely voices. and you will have to pay a fee for daily storage even though your car has been there for less than an hour. and you will have to pay for the gas the tow truck guzzled as it toted your car from parking lot to impound lot. and you have to pay in cash. even if your purse is in the truck of the car that’s been towed away.

it’s not the score that counts. sure, we’d all like to win but we got one goal in there. it wasn’t a complete shutout. the ref complimented the girls on a clean, well played game. the parents were cheering. the girls had fun. plain and simple. i couldn’t ask for more.

i need about forty pairs of hands. to fix goggles. and sticks. and hair. and uniforms. and about forty eyeballs. to watch the game. the girls on the sideline. the refs. the goalie. and a voice that’s forty times louder. to be heard over the ref’s whistle. over the length of the field. over the roar of the game on the next field. over the parents yelling instructions to their children.

it’s about more than just lacrosse. it’s about the water fight at the end of the game. and the players testing me to see if they can throw water at me. it’s about them recognizing i am serious when i say no. it’s about them giggling anyways. it’s about trying out attack and defense to see which they like better. it’s about the smallest girl on the team asking to play goalie. it’s about high fives. it’s about the quietest girl being the most competitive and shocking me silly. it’s about them asking for help and me doing my best to provide it. it’s about the parents asking me questions to further their understanding the game. it’s about getting outside on a gorgeous afternoon. it’s about making the best use of my free time. it’s about sharing my love of lacrosse with people who feel the same way. it’s about stepping out of my comfort zone so i can keep growing, keep improving. it’s about these girls who say the craziest things and make fun of me and have so much energy. it’s infectious. it refreshes my own supply.

and, pray tell, how was YOUR weekend?

general

easter traditions

abby mumford

i’m not sure why it started, but it did. and easter 2004 was the inauguration. the event: my (east coast, immediate) family drove up to visit me in boston over easter weekend. and now it continues every year. once a year. 3, 4, or 5 of them make the trek to see me. rain. shine. cold. hot. mild. wild. frigid. chilly. frozen.

the first easter, it was just mom, dad, and sister E. this year, it was just them again. J&T were unable to join the festivities because J is due with baby Mac in 3 weeks and T had doctor duty. so instead of a party of 6, we were a party of 4. but that didn’t slow us down. not one bit. if anything, we were more mobile due to the slimmed down family size. the other main change was that the parents + E came up saturday night and left sunday night due to E’s demanding lacrosse schedule. which means we had a lot to pack in in 24 hours.

we did the USUAL, such as dinner at ole (including guacamole and sangria), dessert at christina’s, brunch at johnny d’s, laughing, arguing, enjoying one another’s company, showing off my version of this city, getting to see mom/dad/maga/jobo/grandpa/rosemary’s view of this city. (fun fact, all of my grandparents and even my parents went to college up here and they ALL met on blind dates.)

we did the UNUSUAL, such as prom dress shopping for E, taking test runs in new sneakers with rolled up pants and goofy socks, eating at two new restaurants (mom didn’t like 1, dad didn’t like the other. oops), leaving dad at borders while we shopped for this, that, and the other thing, eating frozen yogurt for dinner, and me paying for that fro-yo.

over the course of the (far too short) time they were here and while doing both the USUAL and UNUSUAL, i learned a surprising amount about these people i call my family.

for instance, MOM. she still delights in making sure everyone around her is happy. even at the expense of her own happiness. she laughs at her husband of 39+ years because he is utterly content with doing his own thing while 3 of his girls shop. she laughs harder when i start giggling and can’t stop. she texts like a pro because, well, one of her daughters is 18 and she had to learn in order to be able to establish contact with the alien race that goes by the name teenager. she sighs in relief when finally being able to sit down. she hugs me twice because she forgot she already said goodbye.

for instance, SISTER E. she is 18. and is at the corner of teenville and adulthood. and is only mere months away from turning down that path going full steam ahead to adulthood. i can’t wait to see what she encounters. but even now, as she teeters at that corner, seeing her and hearing her reminds me a lot of myself at that age. and frankly, it’s cool to see how far i’ve come since i was 18 years old. i remember feeling so old and so worldly, when in fact, i was just beginning to learn about who i was and what i was capable of. in fact, i am still learning about what i am capable of. and so, it’s exciting knowing how much E has in front of her – to see and do and learn and play and struggle and grow and be passionate about. i can’t wait to watch her conquer all of that.

for instance, DAD. he is the happiest when he’s around a book. and put him in a book store in a comfy couch, he’ll read 168 pages in 20 minutes. “i was skimming.” when faced with a store filled with racks and towers and shelves of clothing, he’ll turn right back around and call over his shoulder “i’ll be at borders.” and yet when i too had hit my shopping limit and decided to wait outside in the sunshine, he was happy to sit with me and chat. this is a minor miracle because growing up, we did not speak the same language. sure we were both speaking english, but his words were skewered with mathematics and science while mine were tinted with fairy tales and friends and teen angst. we have finally(!) reached a common ground of sports and business and responsibility. that and i can actually hear the wisdom in his words.

but the main thing i learned this weekend was that while we may know how to push each other’s buttons to cause crankiness and crabbiness and caustic behavior, we also know how to laugh and linger and enjoy each others’ company. i am glad that we spent the majority of the time doing the latter. and eating chocolate.

happy easter, mumford style.