general

running diary of an aunt’s eye view

forget a bird’s eye view, the AUNT’S eye view is where it’s at. and this is what i saw from my vantage point today:

6:00 am: J&T to hospital.

mom texts, 6:55am: still waiting for the pitocin to be given. nothing since. will share any news. there’s going to be a baby today!

mom texts, 8:08am: still waiting. IV in though.

J texts, 8:17am: pitocin is in. :)

mom texts, 8:17am: pitocin is in. :)

me thinking: what’s up with the duplicate texts? the messages were exactly the same and received at exactly the same time. mom is not at hospital with J, right? this must be bending some sort of generational, space, time, ESP continuums.

J texts, 8:33 am: doctor checked. 2.5cm dilated and 90 percent effaced. she broke my water and upped the pitocin. hopefully will make some progress soon. :)

editor’s note: in order to PUSH, you have to be 10cm dilated and 100 percent effaced. but editor does NOT know how a doctor goes about breaking a woman’s water. *imagines long pointy object* *whimpers*

me thinking: ah! this is so exciting! and hopefully not too painful for J. must tell her that i’m thinking of her basically every minute.

J texts, 9:15 am: thanks :) just starting to feel contractions. Yikes!

my stomach wiggles painfully in sympathy. and empathy. and relief because i’m SO glad all i have to do is CHEER from the sidelines and not PUSH out a baby.

mom texts, 9:16 am: jen says she’s updating u.

me thinking: guess that explains the duplicate texts. mom didn’t know i was in touch with the horse’s mouth, the source, the mama to be, my sister. and why didn’t she know that? isn’t she at the hospital? must find out.

mom texts, 9:19 am: no…playing bridge.

me thinking: way to keep your eye on the prize, gram. also, you should stop texting me and focus on your cards. and self, focus on work.

me tweeting, 9:32am: @mumfusa sister J is at hospital, pitocin has been administered, and contractions are revving up. come on, baby mac! #BabyMacWhereAreYou

adriana tweeting, 9:38 am: @TheRereader @mumfusa ooo, exciting! keep us posted! i hope all goes well! #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me tweeting, 9:43 am: @mumfusa @TheRereader i know. i can barely concentrate i’m so excited!!!! #BabyMacWhereAreYou

J texts, 10:13am: at the hospital waiting for the pitocin to be started :) hopefully she won’t be too long in arriving! love to all -j&t.

me thinking: ok, mass text has been sent. i don’t need to inform anyone. but wait, what? i thought the pitocin was already in or given or administered or HUH? demands clarification from sister, as if that’s the most important thing she has to do today.

J texts, 10:19 am: pitocin is in an IV so it is a continuous dose that they up every fifteen or so mins. i am geeting (sic) about five times the original dose now to move the progress along to dilate the cervix. the contractions will get stronger and more painful the longer we go.

me thinking: i talked about being induced last night with a friend whose wife was induced. she was given the drugs at 7am and by 5pm, baby was born. asks J if this is the same time table she is expecting.

J texts, 10:21 am: yep :).

me thinking: she’s smiling now, but i don’t know if that smile will hold on as the contractions get stronger. i suppose it’s my duty as an aunt to keep the smile bright. IT’S ON.

mom texts, 10:39am: keep upping the dose. five times the original amount. contractions still every two to three mins.

me thinking: i am nervous. and excited. i don’t know if i’ve ever been this involved in a birth. and frankly, i’m still not very involved. i am a fan of an aunt’s eye view. less mess. less clean up.

me thinking: haven’t heard much lately. must bug J to see what’s happening.

J texts, 11:41am: regular contractions. haven’t been checked for dilation since the first time so don’t know progress. playing cards to pass the time. :)

me thinking: WOAH. mom’s playing cards. J’s playing cards. this kid is going to come out holding a royal flush.

me tweeting, 12:04pm: @mumfusa regular contractions happening. no other progress. mama to be and papa to be are playing cards to pass the time. #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me thinking: does J have to do the crazy breathing stuff when a contractions hits? what does a contraction feel like? what game is she playing? is she winning?

J texts, 12:12pm: no. they don’t do that anymore :) just slow controlled breathing. feels like a vise around my middle. playing up and down but not keeping score.

me tweeting, 12:35pm: @mumfusa it’s really really really really difficult to concentrate. #really #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me thinking: can J eat? does she even get hungry? must confirm.

J texts, 1:59pm: sorry for the dealy (sic) in news. contractions got rough and it was hard to text. at 3cm dilated and 100 percent effaced. got an epidural about 15 mins ago and feeling good now. :)

judging from the fact that i got that text message (which spanned 2 texts, thank you ATT to VZW) twice, i’d say she is feeling GOOD. and oh, another message!

J texts, 2:01pm: no…and i am hungry! i can eat ice chipe (sic) and lollipops only :(

me thinking: uh oh. her spelling’s getting worse AND the first frowny face. *makes sure SMILE is BIG and BRIGHT in case J can SEE all the way up the east coast.*

mom texts J’s two texts from 1:59pm. geez people. i’ve now gotten this message 3 times (read: 6 messages). *crosses fingers doesn’t go over texting allowance.*

gina tweeting, 2:00pm: @pebbleinmyshoe @mumfusa Hello, #BabyMacWhereAreYou?!

mom texts, 3:21pm: going well. jen’s napping a bit now. epidurals helping a lot. no new progression on dilation when they checked an hour ago but she’s been having really good contractions since then so hopefully we’ll see some progress.

me thinking: someone needs to define a good contraction. they all seem BAD and PAINFUL to me. especially if progression is the end result. i’m thinking good = BAD. in other news, this waiting is so not cool. every time my phone buzzes, i think THIS IS IT. but it’s not. what an emotional roller coaster. maybe i should take a nap too?

me tweeting, 3:25pm: @mumfusa it’s been about 7 hours and counting. #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me tweeting, 3:33pm: @mumfusa don’t you know i want to MEET you? and by MEET you, i mean receive a txt msg with a picture labeled with your NAME. #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me thinking: i’m so glad it’s a slow at work today because, clearly, a running blog of jen’s day of labor is a vital thing to be doing. you know, it’s just me doing my aunt duties. you’re welcome. it’s also helping with this waiting because other than THINKING and TWEETING, i don’t have any outlets. it’s just me waiting and waiting and waiting. and waiting and waiting and waiting some more. oh, did i mention that yesterday i got a postcard from MMM (in WA)? yeah, she sets the bar really high as far as nieces go. baby mac, you paying attention?

emma tweeting, 3:35pm: @ebeckman @mumfusa are you going down this weekend to meet the new niece? so exciting! can’t wait for more details!

me tweeting, 3:37pm: @mumfusa @ebeckman no. sigh. i don’t get to meet her until april 28. but then, i’ll have 3 whole days with her!!!! #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me thinking: i need to do something while i wait. i’ll tweet.

me tweeting, 4:30pm: @mumfusa @TheRereader you could go to the gym w/me. i’ll wear 1 ear bud, you wear the other. or you could watch my phone for updates #BabyMacWhereAreYou

adriana tweeting, 4:34pm: @TheRereader @mumfusa hehe :) thanks for the offer, but husband is meeting me at Hemenway. you be sure to text when there’s news! #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me thinking: it’s been awhile since the last update. but don’t want to wake a certain person up from a certain nap she’s taking. WAIT A SECOND. is baby mac sleeping now? do babies sleep during birth or, you know, the part leading up to the point where you’re squished out of the birth canal? anyways, call mom for updates. nothing. wait until 4:47pm and send text to mama and papa to be. HOW GOES IT? you know, us in the peanut gallery need to be in the know. and currently, we’re not.

mom texts, 4:48pm: slow progress. just checked her. still about 3-4cm dilated but considerable improvement in effacement.

me thinking: gah! this labor thing takes forever. and i’m not mincing any words. i’m at approximately 1405 words. in other news, dilated is hard to spell. every single time i’ve gone to type it today, i’ve tried to spell it dialated. it makes more sense, don’t you think? ho hum. i wait on.

me tweeting, 4:58pm: @mumfusa @pebbleinmyshoe still waiting. #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me tweeting, 5:00pm: @mumfusa i am still waiting & waiting & waiting. don’t worry, TWITTER. i’ll keep you posted on all the gory details (of waiting). #BabyMacWhereAreYou

me thinking: I KNOW. you’re tired of the me thinking, me tweeting posts. I KNOW. i want some bolded, texted updates too. you and me both, BLOG. you and me both.

T texts, 5:49pm: just checked again. the doctor doesn’t think she’s progressing all that fast so looking more likely that we may be going to a c-section. she’ll check again in about an hour. we’d appreciate everyone’s prayers right now. thanks.

*elliptical screeches to a halt* *gulp* *pushes back tears of worry* *continues workout, watching phone carefully. no vibrating updates.*

me thinking: yikes. this sounds serious. must call brother for another opinion. he’s been through this birthing process 3x already. brother does his duty. i hang up feeling better.

T texts, 6:50pm: so looks like we’re heading into c-section in the next hour. little miss is deciding to take the express exit. we’ll keep you updated. as always please keep the prayers coming. we love you all!

*sending thoughts of the perfect c-section down the east coast.*

mom texts, 7:24pm: heading to hospital now. jen’s having a c-section momentarily.

me thinking, dialing: hello, is everything alright?

mom/dad/sister E ALL on speaker phone reassure me everything is fine. the fetal heart monitor is fine. J is fine. it’s just that you’re only supposed to be on pitocin for 12 hours, J’s been on it (at a max dosage) all day. and her water’s been broken, baby HAS to come soon. everything will be fine. *wipes tears of worry away*

mom texts, 8:14pm: she’s here. 9lbs. 2oz. still waiting for name.

me thinking: YAY! how’s J?

mom texts, 8:19pm: J’s in recovery. we’re looking in the nursery with T.

sister E texts, 8:22pm: two very cell phoney pics arrive. (read: difficult to see). one of baby mac. and one of papa T and baby mac.

me thinking: i could really use a close up of that baby. *requests*

sister E texts, 8:24pm: can’t yet. tina (sic) good, haven’t seen J yet and i can’t see her (baby mac’s) face yet :( but T is already poking fun at her cone head.

me thinking: tina? who’s tina? baby mac is tina? nurse tina? tim with a typo? needs confirmation.

sister E texts, 8:26pm: tina is tim. typo.

me thinking: what’s the delay in introducing the name?

sister E texts, 8:27pm: surprise?

sister E texts 8:29pm: another pic of papa T and baby mac.

me thinking, squealing: AWWWW. i wish i was there. soooooooo bad.

sister E texts 8:30pm: she’s adorable :)

(side note. don’t you love when the 18 year old gets involved, the texted answers come fast and furious? where has she been all day?)

me thinking: name, name, name?

sister E texts, 8:45pm: none, none, none. :( still in the dark.

me thinking: how come no one can hold the baby? maybe it’s because J has to be the first one to hold her?

sister E texts, 8:46pm: yeah. J’s not out yet, so we can’t hold the baby. [hence the delayed introduction.]

sister E texts, 9:13pm: kaelyn rose mccarthy

mom texts, 9:24 pm: KAELYN ROSE MCCARTHY. 9lbs, 4oz. 21-1/4″. mom and baby doing well. jen had a c-section.

welcome to earth, miss kaelyn!

*round of applause for J, T, and KRM*

*phew*

general

easter traditions

i’m not sure why it started, but it did. and easter 2004 was the inauguration. the event: my (east coast, immediate) family drove up to visit me in boston over easter weekend. and now it continues every year. once a year. 3, 4, or 5 of them make the trek to see me. rain. shine. cold. hot. mild. wild. frigid. chilly. frozen.

the first easter, it was just mom, dad, and sister E. this year, it was just them again. J&T were unable to join the festivities because J is due with baby Mac in 3 weeks and T had doctor duty. so instead of a party of 6, we were a party of 4. but that didn’t slow us down. not one bit. if anything, we were more mobile due to the slimmed down family size. the other main change was that the parents + E came up saturday night and left sunday night due to E’s demanding lacrosse schedule. which means we had a lot to pack in in 24 hours.

we did the USUAL, such as dinner at ole (including guacamole and sangria), dessert at christina’s, brunch at johnny d’s, laughing, arguing, enjoying one another’s company, showing off my version of this city, getting to see mom/dad/maga/jobo/grandpa/rosemary’s view of this city. (fun fact, all of my grandparents and even my parents went to college up here and they ALL met on blind dates.)

we did the UNUSUAL, such as prom dress shopping for E, taking test runs in new sneakers with rolled up pants and goofy socks, eating at two new restaurants (mom didn’t like 1, dad didn’t like the other. oops), leaving dad at borders while we shopped for this, that, and the other thing, eating frozen yogurt for dinner, and me paying for that fro-yo.

over the course of the (far too short) time they were here and while doing both the USUAL and UNUSUAL, i learned a surprising amount about these people i call my family.

for instance, MOM. she still delights in making sure everyone around her is happy. even at the expense of her own happiness. she laughs at her husband of 39+ years because he is utterly content with doing his own thing while 3 of his girls shop. she laughs harder when i start giggling and can’t stop. she texts like a pro because, well, one of her daughters is 18 and she had to learn in order to be able to establish contact with the alien race that goes by the name teenager. she sighs in relief when finally being able to sit down. she hugs me twice because she forgot she already said goodbye.

for instance, SISTER E. she is 18. and is at the corner of teenville and adulthood. and is only mere months away from turning down that path going full steam ahead to adulthood. i can’t wait to see what she encounters. but even now, as she teeters at that corner, seeing her and hearing her reminds me a lot of myself at that age. and frankly, it’s cool to see how far i’ve come since i was 18 years old. i remember feeling so old and so worldly, when in fact, i was just beginning to learn about who i was and what i was capable of. in fact, i am still learning about what i am capable of. and so, it’s exciting knowing how much E has in front of her – to see and do and learn and play and struggle and grow and be passionate about. i can’t wait to watch her conquer all of that.

for instance, DAD. he is the happiest when he’s around a book. and put him in a book store in a comfy couch, he’ll read 168 pages in 20 minutes. “i was skimming.” when faced with a store filled with racks and towers and shelves of clothing, he’ll turn right back around and call over his shoulder “i’ll be at borders.” and yet when i too had hit my shopping limit and decided to wait outside in the sunshine, he was happy to sit with me and chat. this is a minor miracle because growing up, we did not speak the same language. sure we were both speaking english, but his words were skewered with mathematics and science while mine were tinted with fairy tales and friends and teen angst. we have finally(!) reached a common ground of sports and business and responsibility. that and i can actually hear the wisdom in his words.

but the main thing i learned this weekend was that while we may know how to push each other’s buttons to cause crankiness and crabbiness and caustic behavior, we also know how to laugh and linger and enjoy each others’ company. i am glad that we spent the majority of the time doing the latter. and eating chocolate.

happy easter, mumford style.

general

happy birthday, maga

maga turns 89 today.

*round of applause*

it’s a momentous occasion to be sure. one that deserves celebration, lots of candles, and even more cake. since i can’t be there in colorado with her, i figured the least i could do is list 89 reasons why she is so stellar. but before i do that, i’d like to direct you HERE. it’s slightly more serious and befitting of an 89th birthday.

and now, without further ado, 89 REASONS TO CHEER FOR MAGA.

(1) because she’s lived 89 incredible years.

(2) because she graduated from wellesley college, earning a degree when many women didn’t.

(3) because it wasn’t all work and no play. she knew how to have fun. by gathering up the girls and playing round after round of bridge.

(4) because she said “i am” when a girl friend asked who was free to go on a blind date with a boy from MIT.

(5) because that “i am” turned into an “i do” when the blind date turned out to be with one joseph searles bowman.

(6) because she moved to the west coast so she could be “closer” to jobo should he ever get leave from the war. (a leave was apparently quite short and they wanted to maximize their time together and it would have been severely diminished if she had a 3 day train ride from the east coast to the west.)

(7) because she didn’t know anyone on the west coast when she moved there. she moved there for love.

(8) because it’s a brave woman who can follow her heart like that.

(9) because it’s a strong and true love story that can withstand a war and unanticipated time apart.

(10) because she created a family and cherished them completely.

(11) because she has strong opinions.

(12) because she still puts on lipstick before leaving the house.

(13) because she is fragile and needs our love.

(14) because she still gets around town.

(15) because she loves dessert.

(16) because she still has pictures printed into hard copy form at her little photo shop down the street.

(17) because she can whip my butt at cards.

(18) because she instilled a love of card games in my mother, who then introduced them to her kids.

(19) because she has a hard time letting go of magazines and cards and trinkets and whatever else you can fit into a basement because what she really doesn’t want to let go of is the memories.

(20) because she took a deep breath and let J and i sort through her entire magazine collection and throw away almost 400 magazines.

(21) because she picked out a particular magazine to give to one of her “ladies” because she knew maria would get more enjoyment out of it than she would.

(22) because she has traveled the world; seen and experienced it all.

(23) because she took a house and turned it into a home.

(24) because she loves spending time with family.

(25) because she puts a smile on her face and makes it through another day.

(26) because she is grateful for the smallest gestures, like regular phone calls.

(27) because she loves gardenias.

(28) because she has more courage than she realizes.

(29) because she decorates her house with pictures of family.

(30) because she is interested in what you are saying.

(31) because, in the absence of jobo, she is holding onto her home.

(32) because she has so much left to teach us and share with us.

(33) because she likes to laugh as much as anyone else.

(34) because she is a good example for us.

(35) because she is embracing the detour life has given her.

(36) because she opens the doors to 353 ivy 365 days a year.

(37) because she still writes christmas cards.

(38) because she keeps the candy jar full of lemon drops.

(39) because she gets dressed up when the occasion presents itself.

(40) because she has a reason to get dressed up, which means she is keeping busy with an active social life.

(41) because she gets her hair done every week. (or so).

(42) because she has a computer in her house even though she has no idea how to use it.

(43) because she stands by her convictions.

(44) because she likes watching the olympics.

(45) because she is honest about how she is feeling.

(46) because over the course of a conversation, her voice can go from sad to happy.

(47) because she is continuing to live, and possibly even thrive, despite the passing of the love of her life.

(48) because she is an incredible role model.

(49) because she is stubborn.

(50) because she has all of these memories to share.

(51) because she shares them willingly.

(52) because her mind is as sharp as ever.

(53) because she loves to take pictures. the old fashioned way. with film. and have a store develop them for her.

(54) because her name is maga.

(55) because she is stronger than she even knows.

(56) because all she asks is that we visit her.

(57) because her laugh is infectious.

(58) because she would do anything for her family.

(59) because her heart is full of love for us.

(60) because her legacy is one of love, laughter, intelligence, and family.

(61) she has 12 grandchildren and 4.5* great grandchildren. (the .5 refers to J’s as yet to be born babe).

(62) because of greg.

(63) because of jane.

(64) because of jennifer.

(65) because of peter.

(66) because of me.

(67) because of heidi.

(68) because of emily.

(69) because of gib.

(70) because of caroline.

(71) because of anna.

(72) because of jack.

(73) because of joey.

(74) because of madeleine.

(75) because of aaron.

(76) because of liam.

(77) because of christian.

(78) because of baby girl mccarthy.

(79) because she’s happy when we’re happy.

(80) because she sends us a check on our birthday and again on christmas.

(81) because she sends us a $2 bill on valentine’s day.

(82) because she sends us handwritten cards.

(83) because she deserves to have the love she sends to us returned to her tenfold.

(84) because she generously shares access to the dillon condo, the dude ranch, the fishing spot, and cherry hills country club.

(85) because she answers the phone with a “hello, abby dear” and an excitement in her voice that can be felt from 2,000 miles away.

(86) because she teaches me something new every time i talk to her.

(87) because she is loyal.

(88) because she is adorable.

(89) because she is a survivor.

happy birthday, maga!

general

generations

i’ve always had long distance family which makes for some great reasons to travel, but doesn’t afford the type of relationship that develops if you are neighbors. fortunately though, i’ve gotten in the habit of talking with my grandmother, maga, once a week. it started after my beloved grandfather, jobo, passed away unexpectedly two years ago. they had been married for 65 years. jobo was the type of man who lit up a room with his personality. he was always joking, always laughing, always telling a story, always entertaining the guests while maga prepared the house and the food for everyone. as such, it turns out i knew jobo better than maga.

but through our weekly phone calls, i’ve come to learn a lot about this woman. she doesn’t express her love in the usual channels, but rather in constantly checking the weather where i am so that she can keep tabs on me by knowing what weather surrounds me. she willingly shares her memories of jobo, of life, of being a military wife, of love letters, of moving, of growing up. her mind is as sharp as ever but she still mixes up the names of her children and grandchildren. at the end of every call, she tells me that there is a place for me stay should i want to come out west for a visit. she wonders why she’s single. she sighs. she talks about her new surroundings — her caretakers and her weather out there in colorado, so that i can keep tabs on her knowing what and who she’s dealing with. she refuses to leave her home. she focuses every ounce of her attention on the phone call when we talk. i can feel her love.

my mother, on the other hand, is impossibly hard to pin down. when she does pick up the phone, she’s always doing something else while talking to you. she’s cleaning or fussing at my younger sister to get moving or wrapping presents or checking the internet or sorting through the mail. she rarely seems to have enough hours in the day to get everything done. she mixes our names up, her children and grandchildren, but mostly just sister E’s and mine. she is incredibly smart. street smart and book smart. she turns down working opportunities so that she can have time for us, be home for us, her children. she accepts school board positions and PTA presidentships and starts youth lacrosse programs so that our school and out-of-school environments will be better, solid, memorable. she works tirelessly and consistently and on days when she doesn’t feel like it so that we don’t want for anything other than for her to sit down, take a rest, relax. i can feel her love.

and then there is me. i am finding hints of maga in my actions and tendrils of my mother in my speeches. like maga, i wonder why i’m single. like my mother, i multi-task. like maga, i focus on phone calls and am confused by technology and write letters instead. like my mother, i volunteer my time in hopes of creating a better environment for those younger than me. like maga, i make sure my hair is done and my makeup is on before leaving the house because you never know who you’ll run into around town. like my mother, i dream of being a mother. like maga, i cherish our weekly chit chats because it’s soothing to hear a familiar voice on the other line telling you stories, teaching you manners, loving you from afar. like my mother, gratitude is all i expect for the things i do. like maga, i play cards. like my mother, i play cards. like maga, i don’t express love easily though i do love deeply. like my mother, i don’t like to cook, but will do so if necessary. like maga, i wish my family was closer. like my mother, i am glad i have wings.

i’ve heard people say in horror “i’m turning into my mother.” i can admit that the thought has crossed my mind before, but most of the time, i couldn’t be more thrilled to do so.

feelings

gratitude

i’ve always been a big believer in saying thank you. it doesn’t matter if someone handed you something you asked for or gave you enough money to cover your student loan or they simply gave you work materials on time, i always take the time to say thanks a bunch. thank you. thanks so much. it might be because my mom always made me write thank you notes after christmas and my birthday and so i got used to acknowledging someone when they did something for me and so the expression of my gratitude became habit. or it might be because i like how i feel when someone thanks me, so i’m just trying to return the favor. or maybe it’s a combination of both?

anyways, as i was catching up on my friend kristen’s blog (http://moodswingmusings.wordpress.com/), she had a post about the gratitude tree she had come across in July. there were little white tags all over the tree, each with a small statement of something that particular person was thankful for. she said “I liked stopping to think about the people and things that add value to my life. So every night before bed I repeated the action of recalling the one thing I wanted to remember about the day. I like to think it impacts how I sleep, how I wake, and the way I treat others I encounter throughout the next day.”  because her iphone can only hold so much, she decided to transfer her nightly musings to a new blog. i too really like (and support) this idea, so ever since i found out about it, i’ve been adding things i’m grateful for to the comments section. you can access her delicate and genius writing here:  http://thegratefulproject.wordpress.com/

in other news, i was recently turned onto podcasts, specifically oprah’s soul series, by erin. these podcasts have changed my life in so many ways. (1) instead of being bored with my music while i walk to work, my mind is being stimulated and educated and enlightened. (2) i don’t feel alone because i’ve got oprah and whoever she’s interviewing as company. (3) i’m learning A LOT about spirituality, something that’s always confused me, yet interested me too because how come my siblings get it and i don’t? (4) i’ve been learning about myself and my attitudes and how i can overcome particular shortfalls to be a better person.

so yesterday’s podcast was with sarah ban breathnach who wrote the book “simple abundance”. the main idea of the book is gratitude. when i heard them first talking about gratitude, i started to laugh out loud because this topic had just been introduced into my life through kristen and her blog. and when the same exact concept is told to me twice in one week? well, i think it’s time to take notice. i haven’t read the book yet (i just ordered it from amazon), so i don’t know too many of the details behind it. i’ll have to update you once i’ve had a chance to read it, but since this idea is just so gorgeous to me and since it’s the middle of the year and i’m now “behind” in writing down things every day, i thought i’d start off with 100 things i’m grateful for. and these are in no particular order:

(1) my family
(2) my friends
(3) my (stable) job
(4) my (stable) rent
(5) my bed
(6) falling asleep at night
(7) hitting the snooze button in the morning
(8) my box fan
(9) air conditioning
(10) sunshine and SPF and sunglasses
(11) the beach
(12) taking naps
(13) reading
(14) YA novels
(15) the authors who write those YA books so beautifully that it’s become much more widely accepted for adults to read YA.
(16) working in publishing
(17) my typing skills
(18) emails
(19) twitter
(20) the internet
(21) cell phone, which keeps me in contact with those who don’t live around the corner.
(22) laughing so hard you shake silently
(23) that fact that i’m surrounded by so many people who can make me laugh like that.
(24) my electric toothbrush
(25) my master’s degree
(26) myring that was once my aunt’s and once my great grandmother’s. it’s so fantastic to wear something everyday that has sparkled in the early 20th century sunshine.
(27) my mom’s (and now dad’s!) home cooked meals. i’ll gladly do the dishes if it means i don’t have to eat my own cooking.
(28) my car
(29) the independence my car affords me, even though i don’t take advantage of it all the time and even though i don’t always like that i have to do things on my own, it’s liberating to be able to.
(30) fruit
(31) chocolate milk
(32) pizza and salad
(33) walking to work, even though my hair is sometimes messed up, my clothes get rained on, or the sun makes me sweat, it’s the days inbetween when i don’t have to worry about traffic reports or snowy/icy roads or the temperatures are just right that make it so delightful to walk to work.
(34) my davis square apartment, while quaint (ahem, tiny), it was the best place to live while getting to know the city.
(35) my upcoming office move. while the recession is in full effect, it’s nice to have an office upgrade, especially since my salary is not.
(36) netflix
(37) ipod
(38) people who return my calls
(39) a big work bag, which fits everything and more.
(40) scarves, hats, mittens
(41) living in a city that is so sports obsessed.
(42) having access to both coaching and playing lacrosse. i can’t get enough of that sport.
(43) my work softball team
(44) the food network — without it, i’d be even more clueless in the kitchen.
(45) having the courage to do things that are scary or undesirable at first, but benefit me in the long run, as putting yourself into difficult situations makes you learn about yourself.
(46) conversations about nothing
(47) conversations about really important issues, concerns, and opinions.
(48) having the ability to really listen when a friend needs it and vice versa.
(49) having a newfound ability to speak up when i don’t agree with something.
(50) ice cream
(51) s’mores
(52) campfires
(53) bonfires
(54) a clear sky at night with no city, no buildings, no interruptions. just you and the sky.
(55) my big trampoline that lives at my parents’ house
(56) a grill
(57) steak tips from mckinnons
(58) a reason to grill, friends to grill with, a place to grill, and a patio/porch to eat on.
(59) front porches
(60) rocking chairs
(61) flashlights
(62) candles
(63) running water
(64) running shoes
(65) willpower to get up out of bed to run before work, before caffeine, before makeup.
(66) words
(67) GPS
(68) friends who don’t laugh at the dumb questions i ask.
(69) friends who will answer any question i ask with an honest answer.
(70) post-it notes
(71) chapstick
(72) lip gloss
(73) chewing gum
(74) bagels from the bagel club in NJ
(75) traveling to new places
(76) traveling to old places
(77) a familiar face in a crowded room
(78) earrings
(79) bracelets
(80) watches
(81) new ideas
(82) having a piece of paper to write those ideas on.
(83) having the support of people when i’m trying that new idea out.
(84) my bike
(85) the bike path
(86) my niece and nephews
(87) my siblings
(88) thanksgiving dinner
(89) the turkey trot
(90) warm family reunions
(91) feeling homesick because it means i have other places to go and i’ll still be loved.
(92) homemade mac and cheese
(93) funny emails
(94) night lights
(95) my imagination
(96) having so many gifted mathematicians in my family
(97) a bookmark
(98) tissues in the winter
(99) the pictures of family and friends that decorate my office
(100) this project.