Tag: growing up

travel

role models

abby mumford

traveling gives you a fresh perspective on yourself, your likes, your dislikes, your neighborhood, your family, your friends, your habits, your life. basically, it will flip your notions upside down. the farther you travel away from home, the knowledge you learn will increase exponentially.*

i was in denver this past weekend. i had the good fortune to be able to swing a last minute visit, which meant i had two and a half days with my mom and maga (my grandmother). amidst the flights and food and christmas cards and conversations and quiet moments, i learned about these people i call my family.

for instance, there is MAGA. she is 89 years and 8 months old. what a trooper she is. she is dealing with the aches, pain, and confusion of getting older, but she manages to put a smile on her face and get out there in the world despite the fact that every morning she wakes up without jobo (my grandfather), she does so with a broken heart. her advanced age means she can’t continue the globe trotting ways of her youth, and so, she brings the globe to her. egypt and india are the only two places she and jobo never visited, so when the king tut exhibit set up shop in the denver art museum, she got tickets for herself and mom and me and we all walked like egyptians.

thanks, maga, for showing me how to retain my sassiness for 89+ years. and for showing me how to bring the world to my doorstep.

for instance, my DAD is a sly guy. he’s not upfront with his emotions, so you have to listen for his declarations of love. i’m glad i now know how to do that. this time, it took the form of him looking up my (ridiculously small windowed) connection in philly. he let me know which gate i’d be arriving at (B14) and which gate i had to get to (C18) in 15 minutes. (i originally had 40 whole minutes, but de-icing a plane + waiting while the pilots shoo a fly out of the cockpit cuts into that.) he gave me specific directions on how to get from one gate to the next (because i am amazingly adept at getting lost). he even emailed and texted me this information because he wasn’t sure which i’d get to first. (side note, i LOVE my smartphone.)

too bad i didn’t turn on my phone until after i landed in boston.

thanks, dad, for giving me a reason to practice letting someone take care of me. i’d kind of forgotten.

for instance, there is my MOM. i had the opportunity to witness my mother as a mother but not while mothering me, which (still with me?) means i was able to objectively watch and appreciate her parenting skills. observing her taking care of her mother was something phenomenal. i felt like i had put on a pair of super-scientific-x-ray-night-vision-high-tech-not-yet-created-but-probably-will-be-soon* goggles and instead of seeing bones or guts or body heat, i could see her patience, her intelligence, her frustration, her sense of humor, her nerves of steel, her love.

growing up, it’s hard to see your mother for all of her sacrifices because, well, you can’t see past yourself. (those teen years are tough on everyone involved.) and even now, it’s still a bit hard to see her objectively because she’s either doing something for me or for one of my siblings and i’m too close to view the situation with any clarity. but denver enlightened me. my mom’s relationship with her mother is (not so) surprisingly a lot like hers and mine. they laugh, bicker, listen, talk, direct, clash, roll their eyes, are grateful for one another. another key fact: they still possess the ability to embarrass each other.

for instance, maga came down wearing a silk scarf tied around her head to keep her ear warm. i thought she looked adorable, however mom couldn’t stop laughing at how maga looked like a babushka. later that night, we were all at the neighbors (maga was sans scarf) when my mom announces to the group, “do you have any grandsons? abby’s available.” yup. thanks, mom.

but you know what? if having them as my role models means i’m going to grow up to be like them, i am ready to grow up.

any day now…..

in the meantime, thank you, mom, for being there for these first (almost, but not quite yet) 30 years. i wouldn’t be who i am today without your guidance, your expectations, your love.

*so says me, the scientific expert.

sports

squash this

abby mumford

if you put the word SQUASH into a google image search, you come up with pictures like these.

they’re all squash-ed in.

that’s exactly what i look like (except for the whole, “i’m a girl and he’s not” thing). what i mean to say is that i project the same badassery that he does. obviously.

so the real point here is why was i searching the word squash and why did i just subject you to those pictures? well, it’s relevant this time of year because it’s autumn and farmers are harvesting their fruits and vegetables AND i’m learning how to play squash. i had my first match on wednesday, during lunch.

why am i learning how to play squash? it’s part of this whole life upgrade thing. and the whole, i’m trying to get in tip top shape for the big 3-0 in january. the gym is boring. this spices things up a bit. especially when you consider the fact that i’ve never played before and i’m entering into a highly competitive trio of dudes. i’m a highly competitive chick, so this isn’t intimidating as much as frustrating. i don’t like to lose. but i’m starting at the bottom and playing against guys who’ve been playing for years, if not decades. let’s hope i’m good with a steep learning curve.

the trick to squash (aside from learning how to use your wrist. tee hee.) is watching your opponent and knowing his/her weaknesses. yes, this is how most games are played, but this is a fast game (true story) and by the time you’ve figured out your opponent’s weaknesses, you’re already down 2 games to none. (maybe that’s just me. it was my first time, cut me some slack.) i think this whole “observe and conquer” will suit me well as i embark into my 30s.

*cackles evilly* yeah, i’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

AND hey, i just realized, i’ve already had a brief and lovely encounter with squash. with joan bauer’s squash to be precise. if you haven’t read her work, you really should. she’s a master at humor. and creating awesomely strong female leads.

and p.s. i realize there are a lot of links in this post, so to keep things interesting, ONE of them (no, i’m not telling which) leads to a special surprise. happy clicking!

(TWSS)

feelings

wonder woman

abby mumford

it started with a haircut the week before i went to italy. i went to the same woman i’ve been going to for a year + now. but i went to a different salon. her OWN salon. the doors had opened the day before and while the restorations weren’t 100% complete, her attitude was overjoyed, sheer joyfulness, blissful happiness.

i’m beginning to think she infused a bit of that into the shampoo, and combed it through my hair with the conditioner, tousled in some with the mousse, and spritzed it in with the hairspray because i have gotten more compliments on my hair/appearance (in person, in pictures) than ever before.

i like to think it’s magic because who doesn’t want a spot of magic incorporated into their life?

of course, it could also be a bit of me shining out. i’ve been through some tougher times than i’d like to admit and while i thought i was past the darkness before, it seems i really am now. it’s apparent in my facial expressions. when i smile, i actually mean it. and i’m wearing a smile more often these days. i think that’s what people are seeing. it’s nice to know my hard work is paying off.

though, it never hurts to have a wand in your back pocket or at the very least, a hairdresser who can style your hair to complement your face AND your attitude.

travel

perspective

abby mumford

it can be found through the twist of a camera lens. or the turn of the age dial. or the easy childhood you had. or the difficult time you went through. or if you’re employed. or if you’re a man. or if you’re a teenager. or if you’re lonely. or if you’re in love. or if you ran there. or if you took the first left instead of right.

for whatever reasons got us to this point, it’s given us all a unique perspective. we can experience the same event and come away with different conclusions. we can taste the same meal and simultaneously shudder in delight and disgust. we can smell the same flower and want to sniff again or sneeze and pull back. we can hear the same song and laugh or cry. we can touch the same water and either dive in or run away laughing. we can see the same mountain and be comforted or challenged.

that last one actually happened. kristen saw that mountain in lake como and thought this.

i saw it and felt comforted.

why?

because it was always there. every morning. strong. solid. sturdy. stunning. it was waiting for me to walk out onto the porch so it could make me smile. every afternoon. the houses bordering the base, tempting the mountain, urging it to disagree with the civilization. the trees still grew, filling in the picture, outlining its vast size. the rocks reflected the sunshine making the white spots gleam like a hollywood startlet’s mouth. every night. giving the setting sun a backdrop. providing an audience for the twinkling stars.

i was introduced to that mountain at a time where i felt lost (directionally and emotionally) and confused and homesick. but every morning, noon, and night, there it was. unchanging except for the shadows that danced in the revolving sunlight. i would see that mountain and know i was near home. a temporary home. but one that was safe and modern and new and filled with two girls who opened their vacation and let me slip into their hugs hello.

that mountain shows how steady mother nature is. and when you’re feeling lost, isn’t it just like a mother to send a source of comfort?

feelings

golden rule (of couches)

abby mumford

it started with a bathmat. or rather, a replacement one. roommate said she had reached her limit and was going to buy one of the wooden ones they use in spas. upgrade #1.

it continued with a work trip. to ITALY. upgrade #2.

it was furthered when roommate reached her limit (again) but this time with the couches. we had 3 of them. all 3 were hand-me-downs when we first moved into our apartment 7 years ago. (to be honest, neither one of us expected we’d still be roommates this long, so the hand-me-down couches seemed like the perfect short term solution.) but here we are, still roommates, still with old couches. plus you have to factor in 7 more years of butt sitting and dinners being eaten and beverages being drunk while on them…yeah, ick. we attempted to spruce them up with slip covers, but that didn’t really help. roommate uses the living room more than i do, so it was natural she’d reach her limit before i did. but once she reached it and pointed it out to me, i quickly realized how frumpy that room was. she did some research and ordered 2 brand spanking new couches. and they are lovely. the apartment looks grown-up. upgrade #3.

and then a weird thing happened. E&T went off to visit Japan and needed someone to pick up their CSA farm shares of vegetables and fish during their absence. roommate and i happily agreed. and this past tuesday night, we were inundated with fish and fresh vegetables. upgrade #4. except neither one of us knew what to do. well, to be fair, roommate had more of a clue than me, especially when it came to the fish. i’ve NEVER cooked fish. heck, i’ve only just started eating it. (i rarely ate it growing up. unless it was those frozen fish sticks, which, ick.) long story short — we had a complete dinner of fish and veggies tuesday and then last night, i took the reins and made a baked fish dish with rice. for two nights, roommate and i were able to cook and eat together (while sitting on the floor in the living room so as not to spill on the beautiful new couches!). despite our hectic schedules and the variances in our taste buds, we had our own little family dinners.

eating dinner together as a family is something i treasure because it’s what my family did every single night of my childhood. no tv, no books, no phones, just food and family. sure, when i was a teenager, i wanted nothing to do with these dinners, but the forced regularity of conversation was a lesson that extended beyond the family. (because there are a lot of times here in adulthood when you have to talk to people you don’t necessarily want to.) and frankly, that lesson extended into the family because i got to know the people who sat around me. they’d talk about their days while i secretly tried to hide the fact i wasn’t eating my vegetables.

but what these recent upgrades have shown me is that i am becoming an adult even though i certainly don’t feel like one. when i was little, i thought being an adult included being married and having kids and owning a house. i have none of these things, yet my age says i’ve reached adulthood. the bills and taxes i pay depict adulthood too. but my health and imagination make me feel 10 again. so i guess it’s time to use my mind and start “faking it ’til i make it” to adulthood. or rather, an amended version of adulthood.

i can’t help but think that having a new bathmat, 2 new couches, a kitchen full of fresh food and a person to eat dinner with is a good starting point.