excuses, or introducing linda grimes

most days, we don’t need a reason to skip out of work. but there are times when the drive to get things done overshadows our logical sense of laziness. and that is distressing indeed. if that happens, you know who you should call? linda grimes. not only will she make you laugh, but she’ll find a way to get you out of doing that horrid thing you were just about to do.

she’ll always come to the rescue. seriously, click on that. and then read the comments. you won’t regret it.

she can get you out of work, out of taking care of your kids, out of eating a healthy breakfast, out of cleaning your house, and out of any other pickle you might find yourself in. i think i want to make her pocket sized and carry her around all day long. chirping in my ear. forcing my productivity levels to zero.

think of how calm and relaxed i’d be! i wouldn’t worry that the dust bunnies from the bedroom have connected with the ones from the living room and are about to stage a mutiny. i wouldn’t spend one minute fussing over the lost roll of quarters because i don’t have to do any laundry. i wouldn’t be scared to have one extra drink because there are health benefits to having one drink a day and you only have the count the current drink in your hand. which is one. which means i’m health conscious!

and look, here she is in LIVE ACTION. (it’s just like we’re at the movies! is that popcorn i smell?) oh, but first, the background story. we (read: Twitterati) took a vote to declare wednesday #earlyfriday. enough people voted “aye” which means i don’t have to go to work on thursday because it’s technically saturday. but just in case, linda wrote me a “get out of work” note.

@linda_grimes: @abbymumford Dear Boss Person: Due to a localized glitch in the space/time continuum, Wed. is now Fri. Therefore, [insert name] will not be at work tomorrow, as it will be “Saturday.” Sincerely, Linda, Goddess of Excuses.

and since she was on a roll, @muftopmommy asked for a note of her own. and, of course, linda delivered.

@linda_grimes: @muftopmommy Dear Muftop-kiddos: If you don’t let Mommy take a nap, she will flip out and break ALL your toys. Sncrly, the Excuse Goddess

isn’t she grand? don’t you want to pinch her cheeks and give her a lollipop?

do YOU need any excuses cooked up? i’ll try to channel my inner linda grimes and help you out.

p.s. recently, people have been asking me more and more about my love of twitter. it’s this silly side that i love. and it’s not a waste of time, boss man, no indeed. i’m learning here. learning how to do less work in more time, sure, but what good is an employee who stops learning?