Category: feelings

I called at the usual time, but the caregivers were in the midst of switching from the day lady to the night lady, and chit chat with me was cast aside due to the attention Maga needed to say goodbye to her beloved day lady and welcome her (new to her though she was there last week) night lady. And so with only 5 minutes logged, Maga didn’t leave with me much to report.

However.

Niece M needed to interview me for a class project this week. She lives even further away from me than Maga and so my aunt duties are sadly limited. If we were geographically closer, I’d be helping out with homework on a more regular basis, and so, I was beyond thrilled to get this chance to do so.

The interview involved some hard hitting questions that had me fumbling and mumbling and thinking aloud. Describing values and beliefs and religion and knowledge is difficult in its own right, but to do so while simultaneously being blown away by what a fine young woman your niece has become?

High school is hard.

Even if you’re not the student anymore!

Niece M explained how the interview would shake out, but I was so taken aback by the first question, she had to prod me along which she did with compassionate and gentleness and never once did I feel as stupid as I’m sure I sounded. (Did I mention the conversation was recorded?)

Yes, I’m aware my oldest niece is insanely special and smart and caring and funny and adorable, but to have the chance to have an adult conversation with her? And to get to speak highly of her dad to her? And to have tangible evidence of her growing up? And to be able to be included in a routine homework project? Thank you to her teacher for allowing me that.

(This was almost as good as getting to have family dinners every week. Another aunt dream of mine.)

Even though my conversations with Maga involve the past and my conversation with Niece M involved the future, I learned a lot about, of, and from both of these ladies.

“My head is twirling. Are you looking at a calendar? At my advanced age, I don’t do too much. My house is empty and devoid of a lot of things. I’ll need to see what’s going on on my end. I think I’ll call J and C. Thank you for calling with all of this good news.”

Maga’s exclamations were vast and hurried and continued and repeated. I was merely trying to explain my two upcoming visits which I’d hoped would give her things to look forward to.

It did.

But.

The news simultaneously overwhelmed her.

I explained the details again and again and told her that we could pretend I lived locally since I’d get to see her twice in three weeks. Her voice was shaky with excitement and nerves as she thought out loud about what we could do to keep things interesting.

“I’m happy just to visit with you,” I said.

“If you insist,” she said.

I did. I do. I am.

“Aunt J and Uncle P found some old movies at my house and put them onto some sort of gadget so we could watch it on the TV,” Maga said. 

“Oh, wow!”

“The movies are from when my kids are young. I mean really young. Uncle T wasn’t even born yet.”

“Are both you and Jobo in them too?”

“Not really. It’s mainly just the three kids. It’s long before you were even thought of, to be frank.”

“Maybe we can watch them over your birthday weekend? I’d love to see my mom and Aunt J and Uncle D as little young things.”

“What a wonderful idea! Yes, I’ll ask Aunt J if we can do that. They’re so funny. I’m in the kitchen in one doing crazy stuff.”

“Did you like to cook?”

“I don’t do much now, no.”

“But when you were younger…”

“Oh yes. I loved to cook. I was always cutting recipes out from magazines and newspapers. I really enjoyed cooking and trying out new recipes.”

The gene for cutting out snippets of paper and saving them? I got that. The gene for being a whiz in the kitchen? Did not get that.

Alas.

As a consolation prize though, I get to see an itty bitty version of my mom when I’m next visiting Maga. As if I wasn’t already excited to help her celebrate #96…this is, dare I say it, the icing on the cake.

“It’s not as practical to go tripping around when you’re 95.”

“Well, no,” I agreed with Maga, “but you made good use of your younger years.”

“That’s true. I went all over the world with Jobo and without.”

“Without? Really? What was your first solo trip?”

“It was to Italy.”

“What was the occasion?”

“Well Aunt J met Uncle P and his parents took me in as a houseguest. We drove from France through the Alps to the lake country of Italy.”

“Where was Jobo?”

“He must have been on some sort of trip. I don’t really remember. It was a fantastic trip, though. And you take lots of trips now too, don’t you?”

“I try to. You’re my role model.”

“Do you take as many pictures as I do?”

“No.”

“I probably took too many, but it’s fun to look back at an album and see where you were.”

It’s also just as fun to hear about where she was. And to realize her first solo international trip was to the same country/region as mine. We were forged not just via the same genes, but the same planes as well.

“I’m all foozledee tonight, but at least we’re back together again,” Maga said once we’d reconnected. The line’d dropped before and I had to wait a few minutes for her to properly hang up her phone so I could call through again.

“Did you have a good Valentine’s Day?” I said.

“Oh, yes.”

“Did you wear red?”

“Lots of it. And went to lunch with a friend from [church name].”

“Isn’t that where my mom and dad got married?”

“Why, yes. It is. Many years ago.”

“And where did you and Jobo get married?”

“At [church name] in Montclair, NJ. Not far from where I grew up.”

“Did you have any bridesmaids?”

“4 of them. Two from college and two from the neighborhood. I went to high school with them. It was wonderful having their help. Didn’t I ever show you my wedding book?”

“You must have, but the details need refreshing. Who walked you down the aisle? Your uncle?”

“Yes. Uncle E. As you know, my parents divorced when I was 4 and so Uncle E filled in the gaps. He was like a father. A great man.”

“How wonderful to have him there.”

“Yes, it really was. Did you get my valentine today?”

“I did. Thank you! You know, I’ve never asked. Where did you and Jobo get the $2 bill?”

“The bank.”

Her literal answer tickled me so much, it took much a good few minutes to collect myself. “No, no, I meant the idea of sending a $2 bill for Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh. It was just a crazy idea, I guess. We have so many grandchildren and it didn’t cost us too much to do that. Plus $2 bills are unusual and neat.”

“I always thought it was because two is a couple. And Valentine’s Day is a day for couples. Anyways, did I ever tell you I carry one of the $2 bills in my wallet so whenever I see it I think of you and Jobo.”

“That’s good. You’ll always have a little bit of money then.”

“And a little bit of my grandparents wherever I go.”

Her reason and my interpretation may differ, but the love between us is the same.