Category: feelings

feelings

too much

abby mumford

having long distance family feels slightly less long distance with today’s technology.

facetime with baby mac

it’s quickly become a sunday afternoon tradition — spending time together via apple’s facetime — because life moves fast and the kids grow with each passing day and i’m just trying to keep up as best i can from afar.

when sister J overfills a bowl of cereal and mutters “oops, too much,” and baby mac counters, “but mommy, i want too much,” that’s what i’m going for.

too much of the screen getting flipped around, getting put on mute, staring at the ceiling while sister J lays the phone down to put shoes on her daughter, listening to bubba mac babble and coo, chatting with sister J while baby mac shuts the doors and windows of her play house, watching baby mac dance around, pour water from a bottle into a container, “feed” me swedish fish, and/or her (accidentally) hanging up on me because it’s all those little moments of every day silliness that make up the big picture of family.

i want too much, too.

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feelings

role reversal

abby mumford

i was having trouble adjusting to the change of a (relatively drastic) new haircut when advice on how to deal with that came from an unlikely source.

sister E.

seeing as i’m 11 years her senior, the role of older sister falls with relative ease upon me, so imagine my surprise when she stepped into the wise older sister position after i sent her a picture of my new hair + what i thought was a silly face.

she saw right through it to my discomfort with the new look.

she had recently undergone a radical haircut (12 inches off) as well, which is how she knew just what to say.

sister E: hey. i cried. like sobbed the first day i had my hair cut. but i played with it and finally decided that it was shorter than i had ever wanted but i would make it work until it grew out more. why be unhappy, it’ll only look worse if you are sad under the haircut. if you are happy and radiating it doesn’t matter what your hair looks like.

me: that is the truest story ever.

sister E: then live it, you are beautiful. own it.

me: when did you become 45?

sister E: over night. haircut did wonders.

i think she wears the role of older sister, not to mention her adorable new haircut, quite well.

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feelings

smell the roses

abby mumford

in this day and at my age, i’m classified as an adult. i may not feel like one, but on paper, i am one: i pay my own bills, bring home a paycheck, cook, clean, drink, live on my own, make plans with friends, and travel to see family. doing all the aforementioned things, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the ins and outs of this and that and always looking ahead at what’s next on the schedule. while fun and exciting and necessary, this leaves little room to enjoy the individual moments.

unless i press pause. metaphorically. literally. physically. emotionally.

there are so many wonderful things swirling around me i just need to reach out and snatch them, commit them to memory.

and in case i forget, there’s always a kid to remind me to stop behaving like an adult and live a little:

exhibit A: baby mac

in the midst of all the planning and the doing and the going, i can’t forget to enjoy the moments i’ve worked so hard to plan because as they say, life is what happens when you’re making other plans and i don’t want it to pass me by in a big blur of colors and faces and storms.

so, for the rest of the summer (holy cow, that’s just one month!), i’m going to slow it down, observe everything around me, and yes, stop and smell the flowers should i happen upon them. i’m going to feel my feelings instead of brush them aside because i don’t have time to be anything other than even-keeled. i shall eat ice cream and go for some runs and read and be quiet and be loud and take charge and sit back. i’m going to be busy and i’m going to meander. i’m going to talk on the phone and send emails and take pictures and visit with friends. i’m even going to write.

basically, i’m going to smile and have fun because while life may not be what i expected, i should (and can and will) embrace it.

what are YOU going to do during the dog days of summer?

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feelings

tuesdays with maga

abby mumford

i’ve previously talked about my weekly phone calls with my mom’s mom, maga. they’re usually short and sweet and filled with the weather, updates about family, and discussions about sports.

our calls from the previous two weeks were quiet calls which mirrored the weeks we’d each had. when a third phone call threatened to be as news-less as the previous two, maga set out to have something to report. it was a day with nothing on the calendar other than living it best as her 91 year old self could, so her caregiver took her on a journey to meet a specific lady. this lady is another client of maga’s caregiver and she’s the grandmother of the rock star who wrangled me the passes to meet guster.

maga’s mind has always been younger than her physical self, but even so, it was hilarious to hear her declare the other woman as elderly, seeing as at 91, maga’s no spring chicken either. it reminded me of the way i feel much younger than my 31 years and it’s only when faced with people younger than me that i remember i’m not as young as my brain thinks i am. i’ve often described these young people as babies, which is essentially the same thing as maga describing one of her peers as elderly.

we’re 60 years and hundreds of miles apart, but we’re more similar than just in our genes.

at the end of that phone call, she apologized for not having more fun things to report. WHAT?! i said. you met someone new yesterday! you get out and about every day. you’re kicking butt and taking names. i’m the one who should apologize for not having more gossip, more stories, more interesting things to tell.

but that’s the funny thing about brains and expectations.

you perceive yourself in a particular manner (younger than you actually are) and with a weekly chat, you hope to experience something that’s big enough to make it a conversation. it doesn’t matter if you’re 91 or 31, you still want to entertain and enlighten an otherwise lonely soul.

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