feelings

change

i’ve never been a fan of change.

neither the physical coins nor the thing that turns your life upside down. i’m a creature of habit. i like to know what’s happening, when it’s happening, where it’s happening, why it’s happening, and how it’s happening.

i’m a happening kind of gal.

but what i really don’t like is when i don’t see the change coming.

i guess all there’s left to do is take a deep breath, pull on my big girl pants, stock up on raman noodles, and keep looking for the silver lining because perhaps while this is a change i didn’t want, it is one i need.

feelings

indulgence

a birthday. my birthday. coming soon. i can’t avoid it, so all that’s left to do is embrace it.

*hugs*

yeah, so today, on the eve of my 30th birthday, i’m going to keep this short. i’m not going to wax eloquent about leaving one decade (my 20s) and entering another (my 30s). i’m not going to whine about getting older. nor am i going to brag about how i really am still quite young. i am, however, going to share these with you:

looks like not much has changed in 30 years, except for the fact that i can’t sit like that anymore. in fact, looking at those pictures makes my hamstrings hurt.

ANYWAYS, there’s one little thing i need you to do. one little question i need you to answer…

what is your favorite post from my blog?

that’s it. that’s all you have to answer. dear readers, this is cake. so easy! it won’t take long. consider it your present to me. and don’t forget, i know who you are. i know where you live. i just may come find you if you don’t answer. it may not be tomorrow. it may be today. or a week from now. or later this year, but i will haunt you. you know what a scary thought that is. i know you don’t want to live with the fear that i’ll be just around the corner waiting, watching, ready to pounce, so spare yourself and just answer me now.

indulge me, won’t you?

(oops, that was two questions. looks like turning 30 hasn’t help my math skills.)

(just to be clear: today’s not my birthday. tomorrow is. JANUARY 8. learn it. know it. love it.)

(yes, i share a birthday with elvis. no, i can’t swivel my hips like he does. guess i’ll have to find my fame and fortune another way.)

feelings

reconnecting

i had a gloriously long christmas vacation, but an unintentional side effect of being at my parents’ house and not being at my apartment or at work was that i rarely interacted with technology.

ok, that’s a lie.

obviously, i still used my phone and watched TV and took pictures and checked email and turned on lights and the oven and the stove top and the microwave, but i didn’t spend all day in front of a computer like i do on a normal workday. the hours flew by as we read and ate and entertained baby mac and played games and read and ate and napped and walked and ran errands and talked and ate and played games. it was grand.

i feel energized.

now it’s a new year and work has resumed and thus (after a few minor mishaps with email and voicemail and accidentally closing out of a database), i’ve replugged myself back into the interwebs.

*waves hello*

feelings

santa’s secrets

december 24th has always been a magical sort of day, especially when the stockings were hung by the chimney with care cause we knew SANTA WAS COMING!

GROWING UP. santa’s arrival was SUCH AN EXCITING THING, it was impossible to sleep in. since my poor parents had been up to all hours getting things ready, they refused to get out of bed before the sun was up (how rude), but we weren’t allowed to open presents until they were awake. what a conundrum! and so to contain our energy (read: delay the inevitable), they compromised with us: we could open stocking gifts without parents present. and so. we did. at 5am. and then we’d fall asleep waiting for mom and dad to wake up before the main show (breakfast, getting dressed, making beds, and then OPENING PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) could begin.

NEXT. we got older and found out what (or rather who) is behind the magic. at first, it seems a bit disappointing, but then you realize the magic is still there because when you think about it (and you do), you understand that it really does take magic to pull off an event like christmas. (and you thank your parents for the efforts they put in all those years). and you get excited by the holiday all over again.

AND THEN. i was lucky enough to have sister E be born when i was 11, which meant we got to play along with the santa magic, except this time, WE were the magic. i don’t have to tell you how cool it was to be in on the secret. to be the one eating the cookies and drinking the milk and nibbling the carrots left out for santa and his reindeer. to be the one who’s footsteps could be mistaken for a reindeer on the roof. sister E outgrew it, but nieces and nephews catapulted onto the scene and so us being the magic continued. happily.

AND NOW. all those years believing + all those years being means the magic for me is still tangible. probably because i want it to be. and i don’t mean i want it to be true that one man flies all over the world delivering presents and taking credit away from mom and dad. what i mean is that i now know how hard this holiday is on everyone and so i want the magic to inflitrate our worlds as laughter and relaxing moments and shiny lights and warm family moments and getting to sleep in.

thanks for putting on a merry show again this year, Santa, i mean, mom and dad. 

feelings

from one middle child to another

my dear nephew,

you turned 6 yesterday! i’m 5 times older than that (well almost. let’s not get ahead of ourselves), but don’t let that fact  scare you. i’m swear, i’m still pretty cool. i may not be able to work the blonde hair and blue eyes quite like you do, but then again, you probably don’t realize you’re rocking it. and come to think of it, you probably think girls are icky and don’t want them near you. but what you don’t realize is that the time will come, and when it does, you’ll see that blondes really do have more fun. (don’t tell your mom or dad i told you that.)

you probably don’t yet realize that all those hours you spend with your legos building and creating and destroying and building again are laying the foundation for a future engineer. typical mumford style. (unless you’re me.)

you probably don’t understand that by spending your lunch money (every day) on a bagel and cream cheese you are creating a lunch time tradition. a tradition that is delicious and fuels your body for an afternoon at school. an afternoon of learning important things like letters and numbers and calculus. it also shows that you are a creature of habit (me too, especially when it comes to food) and there is nothing wrong with being predictable. (trust me, ask any one of my friends what i’ll order when i’m out at brunch and they’ll tell you, without pause, french toast.) you know what you like and you’re not afraid to order it. but don’t forget that there are some really fantastic foods out there, like green beans and tomatoes and milk and apples and corn and sweet potatoes.

you also probably don’t realize your flexibility is an amazing trait your mom passed down to you. it’s important to keep limber because there’s nothing quite like crawling on the floor after your cars, climbing a tree, or riding your bike, but if you can’t touch your toes, those things aren’t nearly as much fun. (you’ll have to take my word for it.) and hopefully that physical flexibility will become a personality trait as well because as the middle child, you have to be able to go with the flow. your other siblings  may (sometimes) garner more attention, but it just means you get to be independent and do things on your own like the big guy you are.

but you know what? you shouldn’t know any of those things yet. you’re only 6. you should be focusing on the fun and the laughs and the good times and the cupcakes.  you’re only 6 once, go ahead and be silly! all the time!

happy birthday, aaron bear!