this card arrived in the mail the other day.
my birthday is in january.
baby mac’s name was on the return address, so i figured she must have something to do with this, not to mention the “call me for an explanation” note sister J wrote on the back of the envelope…
i called.
me: sooooo, i got an interesting letter today.
sister J: oh my gosh. that was all baby mac. we were cleaning up some of the last remaining boxes [from the move] and she found a stack of hallmark cards. she saw that one and said, ‘send to abby?'”
me: *wonders why fuzzy golf cards and belated birthdays make baby mac think of me*
sister J: and then she wanted to get out the dot markers to decorate it. i let her do her thing and tried to stay out of it. i was very surprised when she refused to use her favorite purple marker. i asked her why and she said “abby no like purple.”
me: i have nothing against purple.
sister J: well, she knows sister E likes purple and i suppose only one person at a time can like a color, so in her head, you hate purple.
me: fair enough.
(side note: a few days after i got this card, sister J and baby mac were talking about colors again. when asked what my favorite color was, baby mac thought and thought and then said, “swedish fish!” well played, baby mac, well played. or should i say, well trained, aunt abby, well trained.)
sister J: did i even write anything in the card?
me: yes, you wrote her name and i love you. it’s super sweet.
sister J: and the best part was that she was SO EXCITED to take the letter to the mailbox. checking the mailbox and carrying in the mail is one of her favorite parts of the day, so she couldn’t wait to put something in it for a change.
her love of the mailbox was certainly infused in that card, as it made my checking of my mailbox the most exciting part of that day. i only wish i could be there to see her face when she finds the bright blue card i mailed to her.
in the meantime, i’m going to cherish this tangible element of the randomness of a kid’s brain.
UPDATED TO ADD:
having long distance family feels slightly less long distance with today’s technology.
it’s quickly become a sunday afternoon tradition — spending time together via apple’s facetime — because life moves fast and the kids grow with each passing day and i’m just trying to keep up as best i can from afar.
when sister J overfills a bowl of cereal and mutters “oops, too much,” and baby mac counters, “but mommy, i want too much,” that’s what i’m going for.
too much of the screen getting flipped around, getting put on mute, staring at the ceiling while sister J lays the phone down to put shoes on her daughter, listening to bubba mac babble and coo, chatting with sister J while baby mac shuts the doors and windows of her play house, watching baby mac dance around, pour water from a bottle into a container, “feed” me swedish fish, and/or her (accidentally) hanging up on me because it’s all those little moments of every day silliness that make up the big picture of family.
i want too much, too.
i was having trouble adjusting to the change of a (relatively drastic) new haircut when advice on how to deal with that came from an unlikely source.
sister E.
seeing as i’m 11 years her senior, the role of older sister falls with relative ease upon me, so imagine my surprise when she stepped into the wise older sister position after i sent her a picture of my new hair + what i thought was a silly face.
she saw right through it to my discomfort with the new look.
she had recently undergone a radical haircut (12 inches off) as well, which is how she knew just what to say.
sister E: hey. i cried. like sobbed the first day i had my hair cut. but i played with it and finally decided that it was shorter than i had ever wanted but i would make it work until it grew out more. why be unhappy, it’ll only look worse if you are sad under the haircut. if you are happy and radiating it doesn’t matter what your hair looks like.
me: that is the truest story ever.
sister E: then live it, you are beautiful. own it.
me: when did you become 45?
sister E: over night. haircut did wonders.
i think she wears the role of older sister, not to mention her adorable new haircut, quite well.
in this day and at my age, i’m classified as an adult. i may not feel like one, but on paper, i am one: i pay my own bills, bring home a paycheck, cook, clean, drink, live on my own, make plans with friends, and travel to see family. doing all the aforementioned things, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the ins and outs of this and that and always looking ahead at what’s next on the schedule. while fun and exciting and necessary, this leaves little room to enjoy the individual moments.
unless i press pause. metaphorically. literally. physically. emotionally.
there are so many wonderful things swirling around me i just need to reach out and snatch them, commit them to memory.
and in case i forget, there’s always a kid to remind me to stop behaving like an adult and live a little:
in the midst of all the planning and the doing and the going, i can’t forget to enjoy the moments i’ve worked so hard to plan because as they say, life is what happens when you’re making other plans and i don’t want it to pass me by in a big blur of colors and faces and storms.
so, for the rest of the summer (holy cow, that’s just one month!), i’m going to slow it down, observe everything around me, and yes, stop and smell the flowers should i happen upon them. i’m going to feel my feelings instead of brush them aside because i don’t have time to be anything other than even-keeled. i shall eat ice cream and go for some runs and read and be quiet and be loud and take charge and sit back. i’m going to be busy and i’m going to meander. i’m going to talk on the phone and send emails and take pictures and visit with friends. i’m even going to write.
basically, i’m going to smile and have fun because while life may not be what i expected, i should (and can and will) embrace it.
what are YOU going to do during the dog days of summer?
Abigail Mumford 