Tag: growing up

general

10 things, college edition

abby mumford

it’s that time of year (fall-ish) when loads of children, teens, undergrads, grads, teachers and professors return to school and so it’s fitting that i came across this post by maureen johnson. i forwarded it to sister E because, you see folks, the youngest mumford (E) has up and gone to college. and my parents? they’re leaving for a 3 week cruise. empty nest, what?

anyways, sister E asked me to give her my own set of advice. i’m no MJ (maureen johnson OR michael jackson), but i figured i could give the college giving advice the old college try. here’s my top 10 list of things i wish i’d known before entering my freshman year in college.

(1) freshman travel in packs. everywhere. to the dining halls. to orientation meetings. to class.

it’s because none of you really know your way around campus and so when one person is going “to the quad”, you all join in. it’s fine and it’s fun and you’ll meet a lot of people that way. but it also makes you stick out. get used to hearing “FRESHMAN” yelled at you. and just know that when you holler down the hall “i’m leaving in 5 minutes for dinner,” you’ll probably get 15 people joining you. it’s the freshman mentality. embrace it because it’s okay to walk around campus as one big glob of freshman nerves, though only for that first semester.

(2) you might think this is cute:

but your roommates, suite-mates, hall-mates will not. don’t bother hanging up the poster unless you’re okay with lots of ridicule. (it took me 2 months to take mine down.)

(3) in high school, you know everyone by their first and last name. and have known some of them since kindergarten. but in college, no one has a last name.

who knows why. you just only learn their first names. even if you have four jennifer’s on your hall, they’ll all go by some variation of their first name. jen, jenn. jenny. jennyo. jennifer.

(4) frozen yogurt is delicious after any meal.

yes, even breakfast. (maybe this is just at my school. maybe this is why i gained the freshman 15.)

(5) early morning classes are the opposite of fun.

especially since college night life starts late. when you’d normally be going to bed? yeah, in college, that’s when you’re getting ready to go out. so an 8am class? it hurts. but you’re bound to have them your first semester of college because the administration scheduled them for you. after that first semester, though, you get to pick your classes and times. tip: don’t schedule any classes before 10am, noon if you can.

(6) email becomes your lifeline to both the outside world (family, HS friends) and inside the college bubble.

before i went to college, i never checked email. i don’t think i even had an account.  (yes, that makes me sound old. i swear, i’m really not.) i remember on the campus tour, the guide said something about how wired JMU was and how he checked his email 6x a day. i thought that was a lot. and in the fall of 1999, it was. but then i arrived on campus and would check it 6x an hour. prepare yourself. or, perhaps your already are? you kids with your smart phones these days. however, don’t underestimate the power of checking your mailbox. and finding a handwritten letter. or a “you’ve got a package” slip.

(7) even the best of friends would fight if forced to live in a room the size of a china cabinet, so you and your roommate who never met before moving in together? there might be some tension as you learn things you did and didn’t want/need to know about each other in the way that only living in a teeny, tiny room forces you to do. so you better learn how to communicate.

or get a good set of earphones and crank up your music so loud, it drowns out the sound of her talking. or find a friend down the hall whose room you can crash in until the storm blows over.

(8) no matter how much you were craving independence, you will miss mom and dad more than you anticipated. (or, maybe that’s just my mom and dad).

and though you may not realize it, they gave you the proper tools you need to succeed. your tool box may be unorganized and disheveled right now, but they’re all in there. it’s up to you to figure out when the situation calls for a screwdriver (the tool or the OJ variety) or a hammer.

(9) there is no alarm clock or parent or teacher to keep after you to do your homework.

you have to figure out to organize your time and stay motivated. because when kelly and lisa come in giggling and wearing winter hats and parkas on an august afternoon, it’s going to be hard to resist joining in on the shenanigans. and remember, go talk to your teachers! when you’re stuck in a freshman class with the other 900 incoming freshman, your professor won’t know that the D on your paper is because you were confused rather than you decided to party instead. go to their office hours. show them you care.

(10) even though you’re the low man on the totem pole, HAVE FUN.

you’re about to meet some of the most amazing people. and create some of your fondest memories. and have some sad times. and be stressed about schoolwork. but you’re living and learning and becoming an adult. there’s no better way to do that than by living on your own. (while still funded by mom and dad.)

any tips i missed? anything to add?

general

blogging 101

abby mumford

i’ve been doing a lot of forward thinking lately. (forward in the sense that i’m thinking of the future, not that i’m working out the complicated math problems teachers leave up on their chalkboards overnight.) this thinking has lead me to make changes in both my blog and twitter sites. most of these changes involve my name because that’s the most simple step i can take right now and, after all, doesn’t a journey begin with a simple step (after you’ve showered, dressed, eaten, and put on your shoes)?

what’s my journey? the path to publication.

which is why i’m known as myself on twitter and now, here, if you look up at the URL, what does it say? yup, abigailmumford.com. i did have to give that one a little thought because since i’m now known as abby everywhere on the interwebs, should i have made that domain name? well, my thought was this: IF i ever reach that elusive holy grail of publication, i’m going to use my full name. the name my parents bestowed upon me when i was a wee tot. (and boy, do i mean wee. i was premature and weighed in at a mean fighting weight of 2lbs, 6ozs.) so anyways, that’s why i registered my blog as abigail. but don’t be skird, just because my blog is getting all dressed up and looking spiffy doesn’t mean it’s going to be all serious and stuffy and boring. just sometimes. when necessary. but not usually.

another thing i can/have begun to change is the content. i’m sure you’ve already noticed the differences (what? you’ve haven’t read EVERY SINGLE POST from 2003? i’m shocked.) so, umm, for the laymen, i originally started cataloging my digital thoughts as a blahg. (a what?) (oh, sorry, read this post by kiersten white, which includes a very important quiz about one’s blogging style). so it started as superficial, but when i moved the O.L.D over here to wordpress, i started to whip it into shape. to whittle its waist and fine tune its tummy so that when it steps on a scale, BLOG is the read out instead of blagh. i’m not entirely sure i’ve always been successful, but what rookie is?

and so the research continues. and since i’m nice and stuff, i figured i’d share my findings with you:

*how to get more followers

*every post by tawna fenske from the week of August 6, in which she celebrates her 6 months of blogging by telling all us schmucks how she’s so darn successful. except, she does it in a much nicer and yet, dirtier, way: friday. thursday. wedneday. tuesday.  monday.

*make sure you create signature content by giving your readers YOURSELF. cause there are a lot of blogs out there, but only one YOU. so infuse your blog with eau de ME (except the me isn’t me, but you, you know?)

*natalie whipple’s take on HOW TO for social media (blogs are a part of that, you know).

in semi-related news (the news referring to growing up and stuff), i got an email from a friend (hi, hoss!) who is preparing to change apartments. she’s moving into a place where she’ll be living on her own. a very adult move, if you ask me (and her). but the most awesome part? how she ended her email:

“i hope you are well and on the verge of a life upgrade yourself.”

a life upgrade. i like it. and, you could say, i’m working on it.

feelings

growing up, awkwardly

abby mumford

i realize that in the grand scheme of things i am quite young. i have a lot left to learn. but you can’t deny that i have a bit of knowledge stored in this brain of mine. even if it is a tad unbalanced.

for instance, my conversations this weekend ranged from mortgages to reality TV. from savings accounts to “that’s what the kids are calling it.” from wedding invitations to my obsession with twitter. from vintage wines to blue raspberry slushes. from current love affairs to celebrity crushes. from washing machines and clotheslines to the sexiest bras. from taxes to toilet paper. from splitting the check to sugar cookies. from student loans to one drink too many. from compost piles to high school memories. from donations to double dipping. from directions home to salt and pepper shakers. from budgets to bud light aluminum cans. from car parts to that’s what she said.

i think i’m headed, albeit wobbly, in the right direction. i just hope that along the way i don’t lose my silly side. because adult conversations, while necessary, can be a bit dry. and who doesn’t like to get wet every now and then?

(looks like i’ve got some growing left.)

general

fathers and daughters

abby mumford

i have a father who is very patient. i mean, he waited through the terrible teenage years. he endured the raging hormones. he waded through the arguments about math. he bore the whims, whispers, and wisecracks of his third borne. he understood our brains worked on different levels but he never thought i wouldn’t succeed. he didn’t take it personally when i signed up with a tutor. when i decided to go to college far away from home.

sometimes, the best thing a father can do is let his daughter go.

he welcomed the lack of raised voices and tears and tension. he embraced the solitude. because he knew he had taught me how to be independent. while living under their roof. while away at college. he knew he’d be able to fund my reality. my dreams. he knew how to fuel my appetite for life. he knew he gave me what i needed to fly.

sometimes, the best thing a daughter can do is return home.

with gratitude, grace, acceptance, and clear eyes to see the value he brings to her life.

thank you, dad.

feelings

vantage point

abby mumford

i am a dandelion amongst sunflowers. read: i’m short. my family is tall.

i am a word amongst numbers. read: i’m english minded. my family is scientifically and mathematically oriented.

what is the point of these opposites? no, it’s not opposites day. no, it’s not a writing exercise. my point is that i’m used to having a different take on things than those that surround me. but what i didn’t expect is that i could have an opposite viewpoint as from myself. how’s that, you ask? well, you see, i used to be a glass half-empty kind of gal, but now i’m a full-fledged glass half-full woman.

oh yeah, hear me roar.

it’s been a work in progress for sure. it began with a podcast, an article, a conversation, a book, a realization, a DECISION. slowly, i began to notice the sunshine filtering through the trees rather than the shadows it left behind. it has taken a lot of time and required daily effort. i’ve suffered delays and setbacks, but now? it’s true, i’ve changed. (don’t fret, friends. i still laugh at the word balls. and poop. and i’ll beat you to the “that’s what she said” punch any day.)

the act of switching how you think is a gradual process and one that still ebbs and flows to this day, so as it was, i didn’t notice how complete the change was until i came across this post. granted, i came across it because i was stalking myself and my blog stats and i clicked on the post to re-read it because i couldn’t recall off the top of my head what it was about. i read the words, but all i could hear was WHINE WHINE WHINE COMPLAIN WHINE.

when i sat down to write that post, it was to comment on the loneliness and frustration of loving someone in a different time zone. sure my intentions were borne of love, but the tone? oh GAH, the tone was the opposite of warm and fuzzy. in fact, it wasn’t any better than a hypothetical 2 year old in the middle of a meltdown. and no one wants to talk to or reason with a said 2 year old.

the point of that post (and i still feel this way today) was to explain that it’s tough to cultivate long distance relationships (friendships, lovers, family) and that i was homesick for certain west coast friends. BUT if i was to write that post today, i’d focus on how lucky i am to have friends who are brave enough to move across the country. i can learn from their bravery. i’m fortunate to have friends who live in different and amazing cities because it gives me a reason to travel. i’m delighted to have a friendship that means enough to me to miss it when it’s not around. i’m blessed to have friends on the west coast because i can call them at midnight on friday and they won’t be too tired to talk. i’m grateful that cell phones and voice mail have evolved because it means i can leave a silly message for my friend and not have to worry about it being overheard. i’m happy to have friends that listen to my messages and call me back and call again if our schedules don’t overlap.

because the truth is, i love receiving updates whether they’re over voicemail, on email, over bottles of wine, via text message, in person, over coffee, on the phone, through hallmark cards, or over beers. it doesn’t matter if the update is 2 hours or 15 paragraphs or 5 minutes or 140 characters. it’s all about the connection. i choose to connect with you. and your life. and i choose to do so wearing a smile.

reading that random blip of a post from 2006 reminds me that while my beliefs and interests haven’t changed, my take on life has and you know what? i like it here. i think i’ll stay. i’ve got a glass that’s half full, won’t you join me while i swirl it around in my glass and enjoy it?