feelings, writing


why is it that whenever you’re told you can’t do something, you want to do just that?

i finished the disaster draft of my second novel on november 10 and told myself that in order to gain the proper amount of distance, i wasn’t allowed to open the document for 2-4 weeks (okay, so bria’s actually the one who told me that, but i listened.)

the very next day, the characters flooded my brain saying PICK ME LISTEN TO ME FIX ME and i couldn’t think about anything else but how to make them richer and more believable and more awesome.

in order to compensate for this break from writing, i allowed myself the luxury of reading and yet, when given free rein, suddenly, it didn’t seem as interesting. when i didn’t have to sneak in my reading, it didn’t seem as decadent. there’s something about reading an extra chapter when other deadlines are looming that feels deliciously wrong. (see what a good kid i am? me doing something wrong = reading more.)


and now that three weeks have passed and it’s time to return to my manuscript to flesh it out, i’ve discovered the characters are hiding and the plot is non-existent and the necessary edits feel like sliding down a razor blade banister into a barrel of grapefruit juice (i can’t take credit for this analogy. it’s all tawna and it’s all sorts of painful.)

working on my manuscript is the VERY THING i’ve been craving for the past three weeks, but now that i have permission to do so, it’s not enticing.

how do i trick myself into doing what i’m supposed to do?

basically, if you have any suggestions on the best way to do this…

… please enlighten me.

convos with strangers

conversations with strangers #1

i’ve linked to this site before (which is now defunct, so CLICK HERE to meet the original inventor of conversations with strangers), but i can’t stop thinking about it, so i’ve decided to conduct my own “conversations with strangers” research.

without further ado:

i reached the bus stop and stopped outside of the waiting area to enjoy the scare April sunshine. a woman was already there perusing the posted schedule.

a few seconds later, i saw a movement in my peripheral vision, turned, and found this woman looking at me expectantly. “excuse me,” she said.

i removed my ipod ear bud because a really loud song was on and while i could see her lips moving, i couldn’t hear her over the treble. (i was a little worried because she looks lost and frankly, i’m not the girl to help her. i’m horrible with directions on a good day, but also, this shuttle bus is linked to a big name university. i don’t go there, i just work there and so don’t know the ins and outs of the campus like i should or like it appeared i do considering i’m waiting for the bus.)

“i need to get to radcliff quad,” she said. “is this the right place for the shuttle?”

i smiled because YES, I KNOW THIS. “yup. you’ll need to get on the quad express route.”

“great! thanks!” she said.

she still looked a bit confused and i suppose i could have followed up with some questions about where she was going, but i was afraid it would lead to topics i didn’t have answers for and then i’d feel bad i brought it up in the first place. i guess all i could do was leave one ear bud out in case she had more questions as we waited for the same bus.

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conservation efforts

one of the recent changes in my life is writing related. i’ve started a new WIP while i let the other, completed MS marinate. i’ve also picked up a critique partner (the lovely alexis) [thank you, natalie!] who is giving me deadlines and cracking the YOU CAN DO BETTER whip. so in a desperate attempt to keep up with the force of nature that is alexis, i’m saving all writing efforts for my new WIP, which is in the worst sort of shambly shape. it’s kind of embarrassing, really.

which means, this post is all you’re going to get. it’s up to YOU to entertain ME. perhaps with an embarrassing story of your own.

how do you like them apples?

and, GO.



i had a gloriously long christmas vacation, but an unintentional side effect of being at my parents’ house and not being at my apartment or at work was that i rarely interacted with technology.

ok, that’s a lie.

obviously, i still used my phone and watched TV and took pictures and checked email and turned on lights and the oven and the stove top and the microwave, but i didn’t spend all day in front of a computer like i do on a normal workday. the hours flew by as we read and ate and entertained baby mac and played games and read and ate and napped and walked and ran errands and talked and ate and played games. it was grand.

i feel energized.

now it’s a new year and work has resumed and thus (after a few minor mishaps with email and voicemail and accidentally closing out of a database), i’ve replugged myself back into the interwebs.

*waves hello*