Tag: friends

feelings

the art of lying

abby mumford

i was in killington, vermont this past weekend with a group comprised of my high school friends and their husbands/BFs. i’ve been snowboarding since college, but i prefer to stick to the easy slopes, especially this year since this was my first trip where i had my own gear. *cue euphoria* i wanted to stay on the greens (beginner slopes) and blues (intermediate slopes) because i wasn’t sure how my skills would react to the absence of sub-par rental equipment.

nearing the end of the day, instead of going down a slope we’d previously done, four of us split off to try a new run, took a wrong turn, and ended up halfway across the mountain. bud and jaime quickly consulted the map.

bud: we’re going to take a blue to another blue to a black to a blue to a green and then, the lodge.

abby: *squeaks* a black?

(sidenote: a black color coded trail is for experts. i haven’t done anything past a blue on a board.)

bud and jaime exchanged a look. bud looked back down at the map and over to me: ok, new route, all blues.

and off we went.

except, we didn’t take all blues. bud had lied. we took the original path he had suggested. that was the fastest way down and with the pouring rain and sore muscles setting in, it was the way we had to go. yes, kids, i went down a black diamond trail and lived to tell the tale. granted, i went about it in a sissy manner and grated my way down the steep portion instead of executing proper turns, but hey, i had survival on the brain. i merely wanted to come back in one piece. so, mission accomplished. and snowboarding outside my comfort zone? mission further accomplished.

later, we were all safely ensconced in the warm and, more importantly, dry condo and were enjoying some post exercise cocktails and appetizers. the heat from the fireplace plus the warmth of nine people tucked into a small space sent the temperatures inside soaring.

POP.

i almost choked on the carrot i was eating the noise was so loud and unexpected. but the ringing in my ears sounded vaguely familiar. after a second of thinking, i was able to place why. and then, i almost choked again, but this time it was on my own laughter. you see, julie and jaime’s birthdays are in march and we were planning a small, secret celebration. balloons had been blown up and hidden upstairs, but you know how heat rises and rubber expands and all that science-y stuff? yeah, one of the balloons popped and our secret was about to blow up in our faces.

with everyone staring at each other — us in the know with guilty looks on our faces and jaime and julie with confused looks — a lie slipped out of carrie’s mouth. “it was the pot. i’m filling it with hot water for the pasta.”

neither jaime nor julie bought it.

caitlin quickly covered. “i think it was this bag of chips.” that plus the guilty look on her face sufficed. both birthday girls believed it.

two lies (ok, three) in one day. one got a girl out of her comfort zone and into the realization that she can handle it when scary slaps her in the face while the other kept the surprise a secret until the big reveal later that night.

i’m beginning to think that perhaps the art of lying is merely the power of persuasion incognito.

general

confused at the car wash

abby mumford

because the present has been given, i can now share the story of how i bought roommate’s birthday gift.

there’s the saying “it’s just like riding a bike” and if you’re me, that means you end up embarrassed or slightly injured or confusing the guys at the car wash. let me explain. oh, but first, some background. (i’ll make it quick.) i’ve changed my breakfast eating habits and as a result, i’m MUCH slower in the mornings. i’ve had to get over my (somewhat unfounded) fears and ride my bike to work. because when i ride, it takes a whopping 10 minutes to get to work vs. the 30 minutes it takes me to walk. and let me tell you, other than horrible helmet hair, i am loving this mode of transportation. especially since i’ve been working late. do you know how nice it is to be home in 10 minutes instead of 30? cause then i’m that much closer to my comfy clothes. and all i want after a long day at work is to be comfy.

i digress.

so on wednesday, i decide to forgo the gym and ride my bike around town as i check some errands off my to do list. i told myself i’d keep my bike in a higher gear, thus forcing my legs to work harder because this was my only exercise for the day. one of my stops was at the car wash to buy a gift card for my roomie’s birthday. she is kind to her car. she likes to treat it right. me and my bike can respect that.

i pull up to the opening of the car wash and hop off my bike. there’s one car in the garage, one lined up behind it. there’s no employee that i can see. there’s nowhere to lock up my bike, so i stand and wait. i mean, there are two cars there, a guy has to come help soon. plus, i hate it when i don’t know what to do. i get shy. so i wait. and i watch. and i hope the answer will come to me. i’m a patient person.

the driver of the second car gets out and runs inside, speaks to a guy and then returns to his car and leaves.

hmmmmm.

i poke my head into the doorway because (a) i feel really weird WALKING into a car wash. (b) i want to signal to the guy that i’m there waiting. (c) i want to make sure they’re still open because why did that car just leave? (d) i don’t want to leave my bike because, as i said, there’s nowhere to lock it up and i’m paranoid that someone will steal my beauty of a bicycle. i spot a man and yell “are you still open? do you sell gift cards?” and the guy gives me a confused look and holds up one finger. no not THAT finger, the one that signals he needs one more minute. i continue to wait patiently. cause that’s how i roll.

he goes over to the car that’s also waiting patiently and does that pre-wash thing where he washes the car before it heads onto the automatic belt that’ll roll the car through the big wash. (that always struck me as odd. it’s sort of like washing the dishes before running the dishwasher.) with that car taken care of, he turns to me. i repeat my question about them having gift cards and he says “yes, autos.” i nod. he studies me and then says, “cars.” i realize i’m still wearing my bike helmet and have blonde hair and what? does he think i want to ride through the car wash? i laugh and say, “yes, cars. not my bike.” he smiles and we complete the transaction. (note to self, they only have one type of card. and it includes 5 washes. so don’t ask for anything more or less.)

happy with that mission accomplished, i return to my bike and ride off into the sunset. that was thwarted because, well, this is real life, and people like me don’t ride off into the sunset. not when you forgot to down shift the gears and you’re attempting to start your bike on 2.7; it’s like pedaling through peanut butter. and not when you’re biking down somerville ave which has all these new speed bumps. for the .5 miles i was on that road, i had to go over, no joke, 17 of them. they are those long, sloping up/down, flat top in the middle bumps that aren’t fun in a car and really aren’t nice to ride over on a bike. i had to perch atop my bike over each one. i was having flashbacks to horseback riding lessons where you raise in the stirrups as the horse goes over the jump. except my bike’s not nearly as handsome as a horse. (sorry bike, you’re not.)

no one ever said gift giving was easy.

feelings

growing up, awkwardly

abby mumford

i realize that in the grand scheme of things i am quite young. i have a lot left to learn. but you can’t deny that i have a bit of knowledge stored in this brain of mine. even if it is a tad unbalanced.

for instance, my conversations this weekend ranged from mortgages to reality TV. from savings accounts to “that’s what the kids are calling it.” from wedding invitations to my obsession with twitter. from vintage wines to blue raspberry slushes. from current love affairs to celebrity crushes. from washing machines and clotheslines to the sexiest bras. from taxes to toilet paper. from splitting the check to sugar cookies. from student loans to one drink too many. from compost piles to high school memories. from donations to double dipping. from directions home to salt and pepper shakers. from budgets to bud light aluminum cans. from car parts to that’s what she said.

i think i’m headed, albeit wobbly, in the right direction. i just hope that along the way i don’t lose my silly side. because adult conversations, while necessary, can be a bit dry. and who doesn’t like to get wet every now and then?

(looks like i’ve got some growing left.)

general

graduation, family reunion, wedding: a photo essay.

abby mumford

let’s rewind a bit, shall we? the week of june 21-27 was a whirlwind. first, there was the family reunion in NJ. we reunined (fun, new word!) because sister E was graduating from high school. and if that’s not a reason to get together and CELEBRATE…well, it is a perfectly good reason. so that’s what we did.

the FAMILY REUNION. where kids and toys and games and parents and grandparents and and great grandparents and aunts and uncles and siblings and cousins were in every nook and cranny.

the cousins, who now live on opposite coasts were introduced.

the girls were excited to meet.

the boys, not so much.

once kids are introduced into the mix, it’s so fun to compare traits. genetics and personality. some of us have the same toes. some have similar color eyes. some have their dad’s nose, their mom’s  smile and the sweat glands of their aunt. some are shy like their dad. some are studious like their uncle. some are tall like this side of the family. some are stocky like that side of the family. some are still waiting to develop.  but you can’t deny the family resemblance here. it is uncanny. which one’s the graduate? which one’s the aunt? which one’s the niece?

then came the GRADUATION. which was as hot and stuffy and as full of cliched speeches as you might imagine. but we attend because we’re there to applaud sister E’s efforts over the past 4 years. her efforts in learning, in living, in playing, in growing. she’s finished one chapter and it’s immediately time for a new one to begin. a chapter that is slightly scary and exciting and full of independence. so we gather now to let her know we’re here. always here. supporting. and doing the things families do best. loving. so, here’s the graduate herself. looking all spiffed up and ready for college. or perhaps, more celebrating.

speaking of MORE celebrating, i had just that in store for me at the end of the week. this time, it was friends (and their families) gathering to cheer for the culmination of a love affair. you might recall my adventures in white washing a barn? well, it was time for that barn to take center stage at lauren and  nate’s wedding. but more importantly, it was time for LOVE to put on its cap and gown and stand up on stage and accept its diploma of marriage. congrats, you two!

feelings

vantage point

abby mumford

i am a dandelion amongst sunflowers. read: i’m short. my family is tall.

i am a word amongst numbers. read: i’m english minded. my family is scientifically and mathematically oriented.

what is the point of these opposites? no, it’s not opposites day. no, it’s not a writing exercise. my point is that i’m used to having a different take on things than those that surround me. but what i didn’t expect is that i could have an opposite viewpoint as from myself. how’s that, you ask? well, you see, i used to be a glass half-empty kind of gal, but now i’m a full-fledged glass half-full woman.

oh yeah, hear me roar.

it’s been a work in progress for sure. it began with a podcast, an article, a conversation, a book, a realization, a DECISION. slowly, i began to notice the sunshine filtering through the trees rather than the shadows it left behind. it has taken a lot of time and required daily effort. i’ve suffered delays and setbacks, but now? it’s true, i’ve changed. (don’t fret, friends. i still laugh at the word balls. and poop. and i’ll beat you to the “that’s what she said” punch any day.)

the act of switching how you think is a gradual process and one that still ebbs and flows to this day, so as it was, i didn’t notice how complete the change was until i came across this post. granted, i came across it because i was stalking myself and my blog stats and i clicked on the post to re-read it because i couldn’t recall off the top of my head what it was about. i read the words, but all i could hear was WHINE WHINE WHINE COMPLAIN WHINE.

when i sat down to write that post, it was to comment on the loneliness and frustration of loving someone in a different time zone. sure my intentions were borne of love, but the tone? oh GAH, the tone was the opposite of warm and fuzzy. in fact, it wasn’t any better than a hypothetical 2 year old in the middle of a meltdown. and no one wants to talk to or reason with a said 2 year old.

the point of that post (and i still feel this way today) was to explain that it’s tough to cultivate long distance relationships (friendships, lovers, family) and that i was homesick for certain west coast friends. BUT if i was to write that post today, i’d focus on how lucky i am to have friends who are brave enough to move across the country. i can learn from their bravery. i’m fortunate to have friends who live in different and amazing cities because it gives me a reason to travel. i’m delighted to have a friendship that means enough to me to miss it when it’s not around. i’m blessed to have friends on the west coast because i can call them at midnight on friday and they won’t be too tired to talk. i’m grateful that cell phones and voice mail have evolved because it means i can leave a silly message for my friend and not have to worry about it being overheard. i’m happy to have friends that listen to my messages and call me back and call again if our schedules don’t overlap.

because the truth is, i love receiving updates whether they’re over voicemail, on email, over bottles of wine, via text message, in person, over coffee, on the phone, through hallmark cards, or over beers. it doesn’t matter if the update is 2 hours or 15 paragraphs or 5 minutes or 140 characters. it’s all about the connection. i choose to connect with you. and your life. and i choose to do so wearing a smile.

reading that random blip of a post from 2006 reminds me that while my beliefs and interests haven’t changed, my take on life has and you know what? i like it here. i think i’ll stay. i’ve got a glass that’s half full, won’t you join me while i swirl it around in my glass and enjoy it?