Tag: family

i don’t want to burden you readers with sad posts, but what i really want to write today is one more thing about grandpa. his memorial service is tomorrow and it’s only fitting i write a little more for him. for me. his official obituary is here. i didn’t gather the facts or write the bones of the article, but i did smooth out the rough edges and bumpy transitions which is only fitting considering that’s what he tried to do whenever he gave us advice.

my original idea for this post was to memorialize the final few quotes he’d sent me making this his 6th guest post, but really, there were only two pieces i wanted to share. the first is this:

Words are things; and a small drop of ink / Falling like dew upon a thought, produces / That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think. Lord Byron, (1788-1824)

it arrived on 1/22/13, six days after he passed, in the form of a “do you want to keep subscribing” email. you see, grandpa had signed me up for “a word a day” and at the bottom of each one was a quote, a thought of the day, if you will. i knew where he was getting the quotes he’d forward to me, after all, i was getting the very same emails, but i pretended i didn’t know. often, i wouldn’t even read all the way through the “word a day” emails because i didn’t want to spoil the quote. i wanted what he sent to be a surprise — both the words of another and which words made him think of me.

but with that email, the gig was up.

it was all on me now — to subscribe, to read, to think. this last “thought of the day” was so apt, so spot on, so something he would have forwarded to me, i cried. i cried because i missed him and our irregular regular communications but also because i could no longer pretend.

the magic from those “a word a day” emails was gone and the burden of missing him too much, so i refrained from re-upping my subscription. there’s only so much growing up you can do in a day.

the second thing i’ll always carry with me (literally (i printed it out and put it in my wallet) and figuratively) is an email he sent to me on 2.14.12.

Hi Abby – My wish for you today is love. Grandpa

ten words. one line. simple. sweet. honest. necessary.

it’s what i wish for YOU today and all the days.

as i read through old blog posts and comments and emails, it was startling to me how obvious you were and how blind i was.

thank you, grandpa for your unwavering belief in me and for your quiet, but sturdy love.

when he shared his memories of his earlier years, i could see how much he’d changed, but also, where my dad came from and why he expresses himself the way he does. because of grandpa’s self-reflection, i learned not only about him, but about myself, my family (immediate and extended), and my ancestors as well.

i never saw that coming.

but that was the beauty of grandpa’s educational style of late. he spoke about himself and his experiences as he passed along advice wrapped up with love. sometimes you could only hear his story and sometimes you could only see the advice and sometimes you could only feel the love, but once in awhile, you experienced it all as he intended and you were enriched because of it.

guest post #1 (plus, see comments section)
guest post #2
guest post #3
guest post #4
guest post #5
history lesson (see comments section)
belief in me
science lesson (see comments section)
happy 88th birthday

january 11, 1925 – january 16, 2013