Tag: family

feelings

the change monster

abby mumford

sitting in the house which sits in the town which houses the high school i went to, i’m struck by all the things that have changed since i graduated. new faces (BFs, GFs, husbands, wives, babies), new cars, new clothes, new developments, new responsibilities, new money, new conversations, new roads, and new jobs have expanded and enriched my life and my relationships, and i can’t help but wonder in what ways am i different and in what ways am i still the same?

i’m still shy, but around those who know me best, there are often times when they can’t shut me up.

i’m still athletically inclined, but instead of two hours practices six days a week, i’m lucky to hit three miles three times a week.

i still love to read and i still sneak it in anytime any place.

i still adore children, but the more i learn about childbirth, the more freaked out i get. (holy cow, women are amazing and brave creatures.)

i still dream of being a writer, but now my daydreams are interspersed with the hard work needed to get there.

i have more responsibilities, more bills, more memories, more family members and more friends, but how much of my core self has changed? how much of it should have? i have different habits and different focuses, but i’m still bad at math, still bound to get hopelessly lost, and still fiercely loyal to those who work their way past my armor. two of the three of those would be nice to get better at, but if i put all my energy into learning my times tables (ha, kidding, i totally know 7 x 8 is 56), maybe it’d take away the spare moments i have to catch up with friends and family and is that really worth it?

can we ever completely change? is that really necessary? is it possible to fix your flaws while maintaining your essence of good? how do we decide what needs to change and what’s okay to remain the same? how do you know which is which? is it all trial and error?

will i ever like pineapples?

i obviously don’t have the answers, just the questions. if you’ve got some answers, go ahead and share. please and thank you.

general

guest post: grandpa

abby mumford

my dad’s dad is a whiz with a computer. he probably knows and can do more than i can, but the thing i appreciate the most is that he’s a diligent reader of my blog. on the days i post, he either comments on the actual post (sometimes with a history lesson) or he’ll email me a quote he’s found that relates to the topic i’ve written about or because it’s something that reminded him of me. (all together now, awwwwww.) and now i present to you some of the awesomeness my grandfather shared with me:

There are a thousand thoughts lying within a woman that she does not know till she takes up a pen to write.
-William Makepeace Thackeray, novelist (1811-1863)

The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or a new thing in an old way.
-Richard Harding Davis, journalist and author (1864-1916)

‘I learned her name was Proverb’ by Denise Levertov

And the secret names
of all we meet who lead us deeper
into our labyrinth
of valleys and mountains, twisting valleys
and steeper mountains-
their hidden names are always,
like Proverb, promises:
Rune, Omen, Fable, Parable,
those we meet for only
one crucial moment, gaze to gaze,
or for years know and don’t recognize

but of whom later a word
sings back to us
as if from high among leaves
still near but beyond sight

drawing us from tree to tree
towards the time and the unknown place
where we shall know
what it is to arrive.

thanks for unwittingly writing a guest post for me, grandpa!

keep ’em coming.

convos with strangers

conversations with strangers #9

abby mumford

i’m talking with strangers. here’s why.

i’m inching my way up the security line at the airport. for the first time, i am going paperless, so i have my phone out with the QR code boarding pass ready…

*looking at my phone, the security guard (SG) puts his pen down* *turns on a machine.* *indicates i should put my phone over it.*

me: *puts phone face down over scanning device.* *nothing happens.* like this?

SG: yes, but you shouldn’t have to hold it there that long. this thing is still warming up, i guess. *shuts off the machine.* *turns it back on.* that ought to do the trick.

me: *puts phone up for scanning.* *green light blinks.* restarting a machine works every time!

man behind me (MBM): is that an app for US Airways?

me: no, just my boarding pass. when i checked in, they emailed me a link and this is what opened when i clicked.

MBM: what’s next in the world of paperless things?

me: this was actually my first time without a paper boarding pass. i was nervous.

SG: *hands me my ID.* not related to mumford and sons, are you?

me:  i wish!

SG: yeah, they’re not doing too badly, are they? they won a grammy.

me: i know.

SG: have a good flight.

me: thanks. have a good day.

he turns to the MBM and i trudge on through the gauntlet of airport security.

feelings

familiar quotes

abby mumford

i was reading IMAGINARY GIRLS by nova ren suma when i came across this quote:

“…and our telephone voices were nearly indistinguishable, so she could pretend to be me or i could pretend to be her if we wanted to fool you into leaving a message.” pg.11

it describes sister E and i to a T. countless times i’ve answered the phone and the person on the other end will start talking to me as if i’m her and vice versa. we haven’t taken full advantage of it because the age gap between us means we haven’t lived under the same roof since 2003, but the next time i’m home for the holidays, i just may steal her cell phone…think of the prank calls i can make! *cackles*

and then i came across this passage and hello, sister J:

“[She] was a killer of a listener. The [girl] understood fragmented people.”
THE PIPER’S SON by melina marchetta, pg. 125

as for the eldest of the mumford children, brother G, well, this right here is him:

“He recalled Galloran stating that being a hero meant doing what was right regardless of the consequences.”
THE BEYONDERS by brandon mull, pg.420.

i don’t need to elaborate much because, well, brother G embodies everything that makes up a hero and it’s not just his kids who see him as super.

have you ever read anything that reminded you of someone you know?

feelings

hitting the GO button

abby mumford

as soon as i hit pause on my writing life, everything else seemed to hit GO FAST NOW BUSY IMMEDIATELY CRAZY, but i survived and not so surprisingly learned something along the way:

seeing is believing.

i know, i know, the whole santa clause and easter bunny and tooth fairy things, but it’s a tough thing, these early stages of a writing career, when the stuff you’re producing isn’t fit for public consumption and so the only appropriate thing to put out there is this blog and the main people who are your audience are related to you and they assume you know they care. and i do know, but it never hurts to have things like that reiterated.

like the time i was at the dinner table in my parents’ house and my dad asked my mom if she’d somehow unsubscribed to my blog because he hadn’t gotten any emails regarding new posts lately. (thanks for reading, dad!) and then my mom and sister E laughed and said, well did you read the last one? (thanks for reading mom and sister E!)

or the time when i opened my mailbox to find a handwritten letter from sister E that was so full of encouragement, i almost got punched in the face by the pom poms. (thanks for the syrupy love, sister E!)

or when sister J basically chased baby mac down the hall because she was chanting “abby abby abby” and i hadn’t yet heard my name from her lips. if that’s not some great cheerleading, i don’t know what is. (thanks for the extra effort, J! and for making me one of your words, baby mac!)

or that afternoon when my friend L attempted to teach me how to play cribbage and i quickly realized that when one can barely add to 15 (especially under pressure), one better work harder at her writing because simple math is not what’s going to bring the paycheck home. (thanks for your patience, L! i’m gunning for you  now, dad and grandpa. you may have kept all the mathematical genes for yourselves, but with practice, i too can add to 15 and 31. “that’s all there is and there is no more.”)

or when brother G sent me an email with “guess who put on his shoes” as the subject line and this as the body of the text:

which reminded me that no matter what age or what subject, we are all making mistakes, BUT it’s all in the name of learning. (thanks for the lesson, G (and newphew L), but more importantly, thanks for the laugh.)

or the occasion when my friend N, who never comments online, made a comment to me offline about how he still checked my blog throughout august just in case i posted something… (thanks for being such a consistent, if mute, reader. :)

or the time when all my loyal commenters wrote me words of encouragement, left me bits of advice, warned me not to keep my distance and basically left me a most needed trail of breadcrumbs. it made it much easier to find my way back to the interwebs. (thanks adriana, jeannie, karla, kelly, kristen, and linda for understanding!)

or the moment when my grandfather emailed me this poem and wished me a prosperous time in the land of pause. (thanks for reading and commenting and dispensing wisdom and thinking of me, grandpa!)

‘I learned her name was Proverb’ by Denise Levertov

And the secret names
of all we meet who lead us deeper
into our labyrinth
of valleys and mountains, twisting valleys
and steeper mountains-
their hidden names are always,
like Proverb, promises:
Rune, Omen, Fable, Parable,
those we meet for only
one crucial moment, gaze to gaze,
or for years know and don’t recognize

but of whom later a word
sings back to us
as if from high among leaves
still near but beyond sight

drawing us from tree to tree
towards the time and the unknown place
where we shall know
what it is to arrive.

i can’t say i’m 100% sure i’ve arrived or that i know what it entails, but i do know that in terms of blogging, I’M BACK AND I MISSED YOU ALL.